When it Rains. . .

What would you have done?

2010-03-05T13:47:00.004-05:00

Recently there was a situation at my daughter's school that still blows me away with how inappropriately it was handled. To make a really long story short, basically Melanie was witness to some bad language at the lunch table while a child was telling a story about a movie that she had seen (think Final Destination - swimming pool drain scene - described by a 10 year old who didn't understand what she was seeing and used a derogatory term for a male body part).

A friend of Melanie's felt this was inappropriate lunch time conversation and thought that they should report it to a teacher. They did, the teacher asked if they wanted to specify what was said, they both said no and the subject seemed to be dropped.

The next day, the friend who initiated telling the teacher, left early for the day and the teacher of the movie reviewer pulled Melanie into her classroom to get specifics about the language used. She wanted exact words.

Melanie didn't want to tell. It was embarrassing and it was language that she has been told not to use. The teacher pushed. Melanie started to cry.

And this was INSIDE the classroom where the child who was getting in trouble was present.

The teacher pulled Melanie into the hallway and continued to push. Melanie asked if she could call me. The teacher said no. The Asst. Principal needed the info right now. Finally Melanie agreed to write it down and she did so through her tears. Several girls approached Melanie after school and asked why she was crying in their classroom.

Needless to say when Melanie came home and relayed this to me, I was very upset. First of all, who can guess the consequences of questioning her in front of the other child? Second of all, if she asks to call me, shouldn't she be allowed to? After all she wasn't the one being disciplined.

I am good at sending out emails. Writing down my thoughts on a subject is much easier than speaking them. I can't be interrupted, the conversation can't change course midstream, important thoughts are not forgotten and most importantly EVERYTHING is documented in writing. It was Friday before school vacation and we were getting ready to leave for Florida. A phone call or visit to the school wasn't possible. A letter was. I was careful not to make it a long, angry or passionate letter. I stated the facts and I stated why I thought it was handled inappropriately. I stated that the consequences of telling on someone in front of that person would result in bullying by that person. I also stated that Melanie should not ever be forced into saying or doing something she is uncomfortable with - I don't care what situation it is. That is intimidation and bullying by the people I trust to take care of her.

But I also realize that there are two sides to the story. This is a first year teacher. She is a teacher who was told by the assistant principal to get the EXACT information or else there would be no consequences for the child who needed to be spoken to. She also had valid concerns for the child in question. She has had concerns all year about the environment this child comes from and knew without specific details about the movies she is allowed to watch she had no case to report to the administration. She in a way, was trying to help this child.

The phone call that came from the assistant principal after school vacation was not helpful. In fact it made me more angry about the situation, not only because she supported how it was handled, but also because she obviously had not read or digested my email. Again, this email was simple and to the point. There was no long, drawn out explanations that one might drift off while reading. But once I spoke to her it was obvious that she did not - number 1, realize that Melanie was spoken to INSIDE the classroom, number 2 did not know that Melanie asked to call me and number 3 never considered the possibilty that bullying might occur as a result of this method of inquisition. All of which was stated in my email.

The same day I spoke to the assistant principal on the phone, Melanie came home upset because the child in question had told her NUMEROUS times throughout the day that she HATED her. "You told on me! I could get suspended. I HATE you!! I HATE you! I HATE you." She blew rasperries at her frequently and got in her face more than once.

Another email was sent to inform the teacher and the administration that the expected result of harrassment and bullying did occur as I predicted. I stated I had hoped that the people in charge of my children would know how to handle delicate situations with privacy and discretion. They are the ones who are educated. Why was it so obvious to me right away that this would be the result, but not them? The school is trying to implement an anti-bullying policy. This so far is not a good example of how they hope to accomplish less bullying in school.

I don't actually hold it against the little girl who was told on. I expected this reaction from her. Now she is seemingly over it and has gone back to treating Melanie the same way as ever. This little girl is not at fault. She has a ton of FREEDOM at home - much too much freedom for a 10 year old - but that's not my business. Does it become my business when she shares inappropriate stories with my daughter at lunch? Maybe. . . but I hear that many of her classmates have also seen The Hangover. I can't imagine what stories that has created. I can't protect my daughter from all of these conversations. . .I know she can filter the good from the bad and what is ok to talk about and not (obviously - she can't even relay it to me or the teacher!) So the fact that this was lunchtime conversation didn't bother me. The fact of how it was handled did.

And I don't blame the teacher. Like I said, her motives were good. She wanted to help the child. She had no idea what she was getting herself into with Melanie (she had never met her before!). She had no idea that Melanie wouldn't just hop right in and blurt the words out without a problem. And when the situation became tense, she probably just wanted to get to the endpoint and not drag it out with a call to the mom. . .maybe if Melanie had asked again she would have called.

But the fact that the assistant principal did not understand the implications, nor did she understand the pressure she was inflicting on the teacher and that she did NOT read the email of an upset parent before calling her is a concern.

But the situation has blown over. Melanie is over it. . .the kids have stopped talking about it. . .and I am too for the most part. So why blog? For the same reason we never walk away from a subject that inflicts harm upon our kids. Because we want to create positive change in our kids' environments so we can feel confident and trusting in those who are charged with their care 32 hours a week.
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A Year Has Passed

2010-02-15T07:58:00.008-05:00

I'll never forget that last conversation I had with my Dad. It was on a Thursday at Disney World. . .Magic Kingdom. Supposedly the Happiest Place on Earth.

Mom had called and said Dad wasn't doing very well. It was only a matter of time, really. Even the most optimistic mind (which I had clung to) and the denial (which was also a familiar friend) couldn't battle the fact that we were losing him - and sooner than expected. We were in line for the Winnie the Pooh ride and after I disconnected from the call, I fought tears. Tom told me I needed to call right back and talk to him. Mom had said he was awake for the moment which was getting rarer and rarer.

"Not now." I said through the tears. "It's too loud here."

"Now. You need to do it now. You may not have another chance."

I didn't want my last conversation with my dad to take place at all. I didn't want to admit that it was going to be the last time to me or him. I was the one who was holding onto hope. But for the last conversation to take place at Disney World didn't seem right to me. He would hear all the happiness in the background and for that I felt guilty. We should be there with him, not off enjoying ourselves.

I don't remember if I actually went on that ride or not, but I do know that soon after I was sitting alone on a bench just opposite the Dumbo ride where it seemed to be quietest, making that phone call with shaking hands.

"Mom, is he still awake?"

"Yes."

"Can I talk to him?"

She handed the phone over and the conversation was typical for us. He talked about such normal things it was hard to believe that he was in his final hours/days/weeks. He was watching something on TV. Something to do with snowboarders and remarking how it was amazing to see such ability in people when he was stuck in a hospital bed. I had to laugh at him because I reminded him that in a bed or not, I don't think he would have been joining them on the mountain. An extreme athlete he was not.

He asked me about Disney. Was it busy? What rides had we done? What were our plans for the rest of the day? His voice was hoarse and weak, but even with the music, merriment and screams of laughter around me I could make out every word. Then he said in a broken voice, "I wish I was there with you."

Images of being a 5 year old girl in a Mickey Mouse shirt and painted face on my dad's shoulders flashed before me. "I do too." I whispered. Then I broke down in a burst of sobs. He was quiet on his end. "Love you Dad." I said and the phone was handed back to my mom. She said he was tired and needed rest.

And yes, that was the last time I talked to him. The next two days he was barely awake at all. Tom and I spent hours on the computer analyzing flights, wondering if we could get there in time, planning different senarios. But on Sunday the doctor said his feet were cold and that he might not survive the day.

It was during the Daytona 500. We were back in Cocoa Beach at Tom's parents house. They were hosting a Daytona party. We were surrounded by family and friends, but the mood was somber. Everyone knew the situation back in Kansas and was sensitive to my feelings. I was restless, pacing, distant. . .

Then when I sat down on the couch, someone handed me a piece of Red Velvet cake. I had never tasted this type of cake before and tried to force myself to take a bite. Halfway to my mouth my phone buzzed in my pocket and I shoved the cake at Tom. He had looked at me quizzically and all I could say was, "my phone."

I hopped up and stepped outside on the screened porch that overloooked the beautiful Banana River, the only place in the house that got good cell reception and was quiet.

I knew right away before I even answered what my mom was going to say. I don't remember her exact words, but the message was clear. He was gone.

Tom was there, taking me in his arms with all the guests looking on from the inside of the house. He asked if I wanted to get out of there and I nodded. We walked to the beach, but once we got there I didn't feel like walking. We just stood, watching the waves crash onto the shore and letting the windy day rip through our hair.

Back at the house I was surrouned by all the love from our friends and family. They were so incredibly supportive and caring. I broke the news to the girls and comforted them in their tears and sadness. Tom and I retreated to our room to begin to make those flight arrangements, make calls and get things in order.

Somehow we got to Kansas and over the next week I did the hardest thing ever. I said goodbye to my dad. I listened as one by one, guests at the visitation told me how he had touched their lives. Then again the day of the funeral speeches were made by people I had never met - people who said my father was their greatest inspiration. He was such a good, kind and giving person - the question of the day from everyone was, "Why him?" I'm not sure we came up with a good answer other than God needed him to do his good works in Heaven. And He needed someone else to step up and take my father's place. He was so important in the lives of so many from the prisoners he was a mentor to, to the church goers who were lost and needed to find answers, from the dozens of people who benefitted from his good works through Kiwanis (and enjoyed his very famous pancakes) to the people who found their faith through his work with the Gideons. All the people in Mississippi who benefitted from his help with rebuilding after Hurricane Katrina. And all his close friends and family who would miss his insight and knowledge of just about every subject under the sun. . .politics, astronomy, religion, insurance, finances, science, gardening, math. . .the list is endless.

A year has gone by. . .it has been a year of reflection and sadness, of getting used to a new kind of normal and adjusting to not being able to call him up to answer my most difficult and profound questions. It has been a year of trying to find the answer to "why?" and trying to understand how I could carry on his legacy. My answers aren't clear or resolute. But I am going to start by just being what he wanted me to be - a good person with a good heart and a good conscience. Someone who knows right from wrong and will step up when called upon to help others in need. Someone who will raise their children with good social and moral conscience and will be educated and curious about the world around them. It's a big, daunting task and I'm taking it one day at a time.

Tomorrow we head back to Florida for our annual trip. This time mom is joining us in the Sunshine State. It will be a time of renewal and rejuvination for all of us. And while we won't be at the Magic Kingdom this time around, we are making plans to go to Epcot - a place of education and curiousity - a place Mom has always wanted to visit. And our tickets to Epcot? They were free because we gave a day of community service to earn them - in Dad's honor.

Miss you Dad and Love you. . .

The Help

2010-01-31T16:37:00.005-05:00

When my friend Amy passed along this book to me I knew I was in for a treat. Her mother had already raved to me about it and how she took it everywhere she went until she finished it, raking in every word. Then Amy read it and did nothing else until she too had absorbed each and every page in a record amount of time. So I put aside the 3 library books I had checked out and the 2 books I had bought at the used book sale and dove right in.

I knew it was about the 60s and about civil rights. But what I didn't realize is how much more there was to it. This book is about social status. About hierarchy. About women. About relationships and about friendship. It's about how hard we are/were on each other to maintain what is right and proper. About how we strive to be part of the "in crowd" or the "clique." And it is about why that is all so unimportant.

This comes after reading the book Odd Girl Out - The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls. A book that was recommended to me as being required reading for all mothers of girls who are about to enter tween-hood. It was a book that made me wonder why girls and women have to treat each other so poorly.

From an early age our daughters are taught about what is cool and not cool. They love Hannah Montana when they are 5 and that makes them "cool." But if they still like Hannah by the age or 7 or 8, they are laughed at, made fun of and teased. But you go to a Hannah Montana movie or concert and it's filled with pre-teens who do still love the music and story, but who would never admit that to the "cool" kids.

They all think they have to have Uggs, North Face and Abercrombie to fit in. Their parents are holding them back if they don't. The girls who don't know anything about these fashions are the ones who are whispered about or excluded.

It may be subtle. "You can't sit there." Or, "No, I don't want you in my group." Simple statements that are hurtful and set the tone of who exactly is in charge. Eye rolling, whispering, dirty looks, turning a back - they are all subtle signs of quiet bullying that occur everyday in our schools. They are statements like, "If you don't give me your eraser then I will tell three boys that you like them." Or how about this conversation:

P: Throw that away for me.
Q: No. Throw it away yourself.
P: Ugh. If you don't throw it away I won't invite you to my birthday party.
Q: Fine.

All real conversations and occurences that have happened just this past week in my daughter's 4th grade class among different girls, witnessed by my daughter. Or how about the girl in another class who is handing out treats at lunch and purposely skips over one girl who says, "Can I have one?" The answer was a sharp "no" as the girl walked on. The witness to this situation knows that girl is always excluded, but has no idea why.

And it continues through the teenage years. We all remember the fear of missing out on a party or gathering that everyone knows about but you. We all know what it feels like to have girls whispering something, but then stop talking when you enter a room. We all have been there. Even the cool kids. In fact the popular kids are the ones who worry the most. Because their fear is that they will walk into school someday and there will be someone else there who has taken their place at the top. The two worst, most stressful positions in the school? Those who are at the top and those who strive to get there.

So why do we as women treat each other this way? With all the women's rights movements we have had in this country and we look back at history and see how far women have come, it would seem like we would stick together. It would seem like we would have a central bond with one another. We are women. We understand one another. We are the best companions we will ever have in our lifetime. And we need to be teaching our daughters. It doesn't matter if we have the cool clothes, or the cool house or if our parents let us stay up till 10:00 and watch rated PG-13 movies. It doesn't matter if we have a cell phone, email address, facebook or an iTouch. What we need to be teaching our children is that what matters is what is inside - it's what is going to be with us forever. Our gadgets will stop working, our bedtime can get taken away, but what is with us forever is who we are and how we treat one another. It will be the basis for our futures and our lives.

Do your children know who they are? Do they know kindness and respect? If they do and they are true to themselves, they will be fine. They will grow up to be strong and independent. They won't have any reason to worry about whether or not they have all the right "stuff" to fit in because they will have a deeper understanding of what is important in life. And they will have friendships with other women that nothing will compare to because the women who have a deep understanding of themselves will attract and befriend other like-minded women. And those bonds can never be broken.

Some important messages from The Help:

"Wasn't that the point of the book? For women to realize, We are just two people? Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I thought."

And this (possible spoiler alert if you haven't read it):

"Baby Girl," I say. "I need you to remember everthing I told you. Do you remember what I told you?"
She still crying steady, but the hiccps is gone. "To wipe my bottom good when I'm done?"
"No baby, the other. About what you are."
I look deep into her rich brown eyes and she look into mind. Law, she got old-soul eyes, like she done lived a thousand years. And I swear I see down inside, the woman she gone grow up to be. A flash from the future. She is tall and straight. She is proud. She got a better haircut. And she is remembering the words I put in her head. Remembering as a full-grown woman.
And then she say it, just like I need her to. "You is kind," she say, "you is smart. You is important."

Do your girls know they are kind, smart and important?

I'm going to stop blogging now and go tell mine. Then I'm going to tell them again tomorrow and the next day and the next. . .

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A visit from Santa on Christmas Eve.

2009-12-25T17:11:00.001-05:00

Receiving gifts from Santa!

Our Christmas Letter

2009-12-12T07:07:00.006-05:00

Every year we write a family Christmas newletter to send to family and friends with our Christmas cards. With the advent of facebook and blogs we really don't find a reason to send out letters to everyone. Really, how much information about what we're up to do you all really care about??? BUT, I do have a collection of these letters in my girls' baby books and in our family Christmas album. It's a way we can look back on where we've been and how far we've come. I imagine my girls grown up, sitting with their children and reflecting on their childhoods by reading the yearly summaries. Also, there are actually friends and family members NOT on facebook or really on-line for that matter. They always enjoy hearing what's happened to us throughout the year.

So, I continue to write the letter. This year it's a downscaled version. I wrote it in plain old letter format instead of the usual newsletter stories with photos. And I'll put it here on my blog for those of you who don't get the letter in the mail or maybe have missed a few things along the way and would like to know what we've been up to this year. :-)

Dear Friends and Family –

Hope this finds you all well this holiday season. 2009 went by so fast it’s hard to believe it’s already December.

This year was a sad one for us. I lost my dad in February to cancer. We had been in Florida, visiting Tom’s mother when we got the news and left from there to go to Kansas for the services. The line for visitation was out the door – some waited over an hour to shake our hands and give us their condolences. I met so many people whom Dad had touched one way or the other; either through teaching, insurance sales, church, Kiwanis, Gideon’s or prisoner ministry. The services the next day were another amazing tribute to him with guest after guest standing to speak about how Dad had inspired them.

Tom has been busy, constantly analyzing, re-configuring and experimenting to stay on top of this rough economy. He has stayed busy and continues to book future business and everyday I am thankful for what a great sense for business he has. The amazing photography doesn't hurt either! He is considering training for another marathon if he can stay injury free this winter. Keep your fingers crossed!

Melanie is thriving in 4th grade. She still loves school and loves her social life. She is involved in jazz dance, piano, Junior Girl Scouts and now is starting to play the flute at school (My mom’s old flute from her HS days!). She will be playing the role of Mary in the church pageant.

Kylie is a full day first grader now and has transitioned very well. She has made many new friends and is now 7! She has taken up ice skating this year and was a baby angel in the ice Christmas show. She also continues to take dance and is in Daisy Girl Scouts. There are so many more things she wants to try and do, but there are only 7 days in a week!

I am working more now that Kylie is in school all day. I try to get in 4 days of work a week if the facility is busy enough. I am still per diem so I have the flexibility to continue to have the same schedule as the girls. I am leading both the Daisy Girl Scouts and the Junior troop along with a friend of mine. The rest of the time I play mommy chauffeur. I still love to read, but have not written much this year. (Although, I do have some new books listed on Lulu.com that I have written in the past. Check them out if you’re interested. Just do a search for Kelli Mustard-Davis. Become a fan on facebook and spread the word!)

Any family updates and photos you would like to see can be found on facebook as well as on my blog. . . www.kellimustarddavis.blogspot.com. I have to say I love facebook and the fact that I have found so many of my friends from Kansas as well as how easy it is to stay in touch with relatives who live far away. Tom has booked a ton of business just from facebook as well.

We had a very nice Thanksgiving this year. Tom’s cousin, Robin from Australia and her husband Ian visited the states for a surprise for Ian’s 50th birthday. They started out in California and made their way East, eventually to Cape Cod for Thanksgiving where Tom’s dad and Donna were able to join us.

Merry Christmas to everyone! Miss you all!

Love, Kelli, Tom, Melanie and Kylie Davis

A Note For My Readers

2009-12-09T07:07:00.004-05:00

I'm guilty of it whenever I read a book. I always imagine the author in the role of the main character, even if I have never met them. Stephanie Meyer is Bella, Margaret Mitchell is Scarlett (and a little bit of Melanie), Henry Winkler IS Hank Zipzer. I try not to, but can't help it. What they are writing is a window into their secret thoughts. Some of it is real, some of it is completely fabricated creation. I can imagine for those who read my books and KNOW me to find it difficult to separate fact from fiction as well.

I have written 9 books, 7 of which are on Lulu open for public viewing right now. Each book has a little part of me in it. Maybe there is one scene that mirrors something that happened in my life. Maybe it's dialogue between a mom and daughter that is similar to dialogue I have had or witnessed. But the characters are not me and all the occurrences in the book are strictly fiction.

Try to keep this in mind when reading anything I've written. One of my more recent books may be more difficult for you to do (When it Rains. . .) because the main character is an occupational therapist and she has two daughters. The thinking behind this. . . .I had just written In the Weeds which took a lot out of me. I was ready for something fun, easy and smooth.

Why an OT?

1. I had written about being an Olympic swimmer, a movie star, an investigative reporter, a minister, a mom, and teenagers. I was ready to include a profession that I actually knew a lot about and wouldn't have to research.

2. You never see stories about OTs in main stream literature. We get a little excited when we see what we do in print.

3. Most people I know have no idea what an OT does. Read the book and you'll understand. I am being faithful to my profession by writing about it.

And why two daughters?

1. Again I was looking for a quick, easy, fun book to write. With two energetic girls running around me as I write, how can I not include some of the crazy things they say and do?

2. A successful author once gave me advice. Write down everything your kids do when they are little. They will make great characters in a book someday and you will never remember the dialogue that made it perfect if you don't write it down.

3. My girls are not Izzy and Katie - their personalities/ages/interests are different than my kids, and there really isn't anything specific in the book that actually happened. But really, it's more of just a feeling of the kids. If I wrote about boys it just wouldn't feel as "real" to me.

Outside of the character being an OT, living in a fictional seaside community (in CT) and having 2 daughters, there are no other similarities to my life. Tom does NOT appear in this book at all (or really any for that matter). I make sure to keep him out - his privacy is important to me and him. Things said between us never appear in my books. It is all completely fiction. I have never met a sexy drummer in a band, a balding, debonair attorney or had an attractive co-worker/boss in my life. In fact 98% of the people I work with are women. And the other 2%? Well, they are not Rick. Fiction, fiction fiction. . .

So do me a favor. If you know me well, please as you would do with any book you read, lose yourself in the characters. Take me out of it. Otherwise it would be weird for you to read it. And if I knew you were putting me in the story I would feel weird about it. It's a novel written by someone you have never met before. K? And if you can't do it - skip reading When it Rains and read In the Weeds instead. There are NO similarities to me in that story other than the main character moving to a small fictional town in Kansas (again, you never see KS in main stream literature and we Kansans get a little excited about it when it does occur).

Happy reading!!!

When it Rains. . .

2009-12-05T08:11:00.007-05:00

Time for some blatant self-promotion. And time for you, my friends and family to dust off your reading glasses and catch up on some warm, cozy winter reads. I have updated my Lulu.com site and have a few new novels for your enjoyment.

For Fun: When it Rains. . .

Cali Kincaid is in a drought. A man drought. Ever since she threw her husband out three years ago she hasn't even kissed a man. Hearing the stories of the love lives of her best friends convinces Cali it's time to get back in the dating scene. Once the word gets out that she's looking, she suddenly has an abundance of men. Keeping her family, work and her new dating life straight leaves her overwhelmed and wishing for the quieter days. When it rains. . .it pours.

Oh and did I mention Cali is an OT?
And check out that cool cover photo taken by none other than Tom Davis. What a great team we make!

For inspiration: In the Weeds

Marti Mitchell is at the top of the paparazzi radar. After a life of alcohol, drugs and turbulent relationships, the actress can’t go anywhere without a camera in her face. So when her husband is caught cheating with a country music star and Marti is left abandoned, she decides it’s time to make some changes. She ends up in a small town under the assumed name of Becky Perkins. Here the media has yet to find her and she can live the life of a recluse. But before she knows it, she has started forming some relationships with some special people including a neglected six year old girl, a nurse who is desperate to have a baby and a roofer who can’t keep his eyes or his hands off of Becky. But the most important relationship is with the local minister, Blaine Thompson. She quickly learns that he can be trusted and is the one person in the world she can share all her secrets with. Blaine has secrets about his own past and together they form an unusual friendship.

Did I mention Marti's small town happens to be in Kansas? It's a fictional town based on the town where my grandparents lived and where my mom grew up, inspired by my trip there 2 years ago for my grandmother's funeral.

For the teen (but all women will like it too. . .you read Twilight right?): Boy Crazy

Crushes, boyfriends, first kisses, romance. . .16 year old Jenny Baker has spent her entire life daydreaming about guys, but has never actually accepted a date with one. She seems to find something wrong with every guy she meets and when she does happend to get close to one, she freaks! Now the pressure is on because Jenny's best friend's older brother, Chad is back in town from college and has suddenly developed an interest in Jenny. And Jenny can't find anything wrong with him. Along the way, Jenny's mother has started dating again for the first time since her divorce from Jenny's dad. And it just happens to be with Jenny's hot science teacher. At the same time, her best friend Erica is considering sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time. Jenny finds herself doling out relationship advice to both her mom and her friend when she herself has never been kissed....

Another for the teen: Butterfly Girl

Young adult version of Golden Rain. When 17 year old Jessica Martin attends an intense summer camp for elite swimmers, she finds herself immersed in the toughest competition that she's ever experienced. A novice coach, Brad Davenport believes Jessica's got what it takes to follow in his footsteps as an Olympic champion. They try to ignore a mutual attraction for each other as gossip begins to swirl around the camp about their relationship. Jessica struggles to fit in with all the girls and has to fight to prove herself as a powerful competitor to win the respect of her peers. Suddenly she and Brad are thrust into the spotlight when events beyond their control occur.

And some familiar favorites:

My best selling novel to date (and my Mother in Law's favorite!)- Crossroads

Corruption, scandal, murder - Anne Stone deals with these issues daily. She has run from abuse at the hands of her father to become a successful reporter. A call from her sister threatens to disrupt Anne’s career when she finds out that their mother has been diagnosed with cancer and is refusing treatment. Anne has to dig deep within herself to go home and find compassion for a woman who is in denial about the past. Anne tries to work on her relationship with her mother and often is tempted to give up. But something helps convince Anne to stay in Colorado and it has nothing to do with Anne’s family. Enter Kaylee - an imaginative six year old who is battling leukemia for the second time in her life and brings joy to their shared chemo room. Beside Kaylee is her dad Jake, a man whom Anne grew up with. As children they skipped rocks, climbed trees, teased siblings and skinny dipped. Jake knows all about Anne’s history and may hold the answer to being able to put the past behind her.

And a quick read: Cape Bounty

Maggie Baker has the perfect life - two gorgeous little girls, a devoted husband and a nice home on Cape Cod. In one tragic instant, her life is changed forever and leaves Maggie lost, alone and confused. Matt Bennett is the new doctor in town. Moving from New York City to become a family physician, he plans to work on his marriage and start a family with his wife, Judy. When old flames Matt and Maggie meet after 18 years apart, they are taken back to a time when life was not so complicated and remember what it is like to feel love from another person.

My first novel and the one that still holds a dear place in my heart. After all it did take me 10 + years to write the crazy thing. Once that was finished the rest came pouring out:

Golden Rain

Golden Rain is the coming of age story of young swimmer, Jessica Martin. When Jessica attends an intense summer camp for elite swimmers, she finds herself immersed in the toughest competition that she's ever experienced. A young, novice coach, Brad Davenport, discovers Jessica's hidden talent and takes her under his wing. Together they find a budding romance as they take the swimming world by storm. Brad believes Jessica's got what it takes to become an Olympic champion. A tragic setback turns Jessica's world upside down. She must find a will to survive and battle back against all odds. Along the way she meets Jon, someone completely different than anyone Jessica has ever known. Now she has many tough decisions to make including whether she wants to follow true love or follow her dreams.

Happy reading all my faithful friends!

Human Embryos in Fifth Grade?

2009-11-18T07:21:00.003-05:00

I have always had a fascination with human anatomy, biology and human development. So when I was at the Boston Museum of Science over the summer I was excited to see the Beyond the Xray Exhibit and then across the hall, How Your Life Began exhibit. The girls and I spent a lot of time in the Beyond the Xray, but when I ventured to the other exhibit, I wasn't quite sure if they were ready to see what was on display.

There were actual zygotes, embryos and fetuses in various stages of development encased in the black glass display cases. The lighting in the room was dark and subdued, the voices quiet whispers in strong contrast to the loud raucous room we just left. Kylie - my 6 year old ran around from display to display, not having any idea what she was looking at and I didn't pull her over and explain it to her.

But Melanie I guided through the displays. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: See how the cells divide and by the end of the first month the baby starts to take shape?

Melanie: Is that a real baby?

Me: Yes. These are all unborn babies that didn't survive and the parents decided it would be ok to have other people learn from them. And look by the end of the second month it. . .

Melanie: Can we go now?

Ok, so maybe she wasn't ready for this. Too young. We went through the rest of the display, quickly. . .me intrigued and wanting to read everything, but I didn't for the sake of the girls. I left and we went on with our day.

Two months later, the next time we were at the same museum as soon as we walked through the front doors Melanie said, "Don't make me go into that room with the dead babies." But we did spend an hour watching chicks hatch from an egg. . .couldn't pull her away from that display. THAT was where she was developmentally.

Now we learn that a fifth grade teacher at my daughter's school has brought a guest speaker in to talk about cell development and along with various slides of organ tissue to look at under the microscope, had some jars of human embryos with her as well. The age of these embryos is unclear. But the statement from the superintendent states that they were several different ages so organ development could be assessed. Sounds bigger than a few cells to me. Sounds like they could easily be identified as human babies.

The science lesson is a good one.. .for young adults. Little kids are going to focus on the fact that they are holding a jar with a dead baby inside and not on the lesson at hand. 10 year olds don't have the maturity to see past the floating baby. (I would have a hard time with that. . .encased in a glass case behind a wall is one thing. . . holding it in my hands in a jar of formaldehyde is another).

And seeing it in the museum with your mom or even on a parent approved field trip is acceptable. Glass jar, classroom, kids with varying levels of maturity another. When did it become ok to treat human life so casually?

Seventh grade was a big year for us. That's when we got to start dissecting things as a part of life science. I can't remember how many things we dissected. Frogs, sharks, I think even cats. I learned so much about the body and organs from the hands on approach.

High school advanced biology SENIOR year- we took a field trip to the University of Kansas cadaver lab (of course with parent approval). We saw an embryo on that trip and the professor showed it to us with reverence. We had been given instructions prior to the field trip to have respect for the human bodies and the dissections that we would encounter. But at 17 years old did we heed those orders? We goofed off, we took photos and posed next to the bodies for our yearbook layout, we cracked jokes about what we were seeing and we were mostly the top 10% of our senior class. But the experience did help to shape what I would study in college.

Again I found myself in cadaver lab as an undergrad for my anatomy class and AGAIN in OT school a year later. This time I was the one doing the dissecting and I think we were finally at a maturity level to handle the importance of what we were doing. Someone gave their body to us to learn from. Someone who had a life and lost it from either illness, injury or old age. We learned to respect our work and treat the bodies with kindness, respect and solemnity (most of us anyway).

Fifth grade is too young for human babies in a glass jar. There are so many things wrong with the scenario. Parents should have been notified of the project and given the choice of keeping their kids out. Most would probably have said it was ok. . .and discussed it with them at home. But they should have been given the choice.

Fifth grade is appropriate for a pig, shark, frog. . . any of which could have been learned from. Maybe they were studying human cells, but even a word or two from the teacher or presenter that we learn from animals first and then as we get more into the sciences we begin to learn from actual human samples. . .

And in the words of my husband, previous middle school science teacher, "They are in 5th grade.....maybe high school might be ok or even 7th grade when they are studying life science. Even then there are several ways to teach cell development besides having them look at HUMAN embryos in 5th grade - especially without notifying the parents first IMHO. Remember I am a former middle school science teacher. I'm all for ... more hands on especially at that age but geez....Also they are using latex gloves to handle jars of formaldehyde - A - the school is suppose to be latex free B - You are having 5th graders handle breakable glass jars containing hazards waste - a known hazardous chemical in a classroom without proper ventilation."

One news source said it must be a slow news day if Fox News is covering a story about a teacher just doing her job.

So, hazardous wastes, latex gloves, toxic chemicals in glass jars in the hands of 10 year olds, human embryos. . . sounds like MORE people should be standing up and paying attention.

I usually refrain from putting my opinion out there, but actually can't help but saying, Come on, seriously? Who can think this is ok?

No one should think it's ok to treat human life so casually at the age of 10.

What I've learned about H1n1

2009-11-11T10:08:00.003-05:00

Melanie is still coughing a bit from her bout with H1n1. Her appetite is slowly improving, but she still is needing more sleep than usual. She is on antibiotics for the secondary sinus infection that she developed, but she is fine.

As are all her friends who have had it.

And so is her sister who only developed a cough, no fever, but according the pediatrician it doesn't matter. She had it too.

We've had worse. . .much worse.

I understand where the worry comes from. It's an unpredictable illness. Some get it so mildly that the parents never even consider H1n1 to be a possibility. . .sending them to school everyday, spreading the germs throughout. Some had it already awhile ago and are only now realizing that was what it probably was. Others get a severe reaction, resulting in pneumonia, dehydration and hospitalization. The fear and worry is the uncertainty where your child will fall when or if he/she does get it.

And then there is the median group. Those who have a sore throat, cough and fever that can reach 103 and 104 lasting 3, 4 or 5 days, but are able to fight it on their own. Some of them will develop the sinus infection or pneumonia after, but not all.

Melanie had a slight cough for 2 days, then a slight headache and sore throat for 2 days, then muscle aches and a low grade fever for another day before the full onset of high fever and symptoms. Her fever hit 104 and only came down 2 degrees with Motrin, then hit the 104 mark again within a few hours. Cold, wet washcloths and Tylenol did the trick to keep in manageable until Motrin could be given again. The high fever lasted 2 days, then a low grade fever for another day, then she seemed better except still so tired. But after a day of no fever, it spiked again, the coughing, running nose (yes you can get a runny nose with H1n1!!) and fatigue became worse and off to the doctor we went.

"Yes, it was H1n1. And now it's developed into a sinus infection. But thankfully no pneumonia yet."

"No, we're not going to swab. . .swabbing is painful and invasive and her symptoms are an exact match to everyone else we've swabbed. They have all come back positive for H1n1 and there is no other flu out there right now."

"Yes, your other daughter most likely had it as well. Hopefully she'll continue to fight off the worsening symptoms. Just keep an eye on her."

So for those of you whose kids have similar symptoms but think it's just a cold or something else, think again. They've got it, it's not that bad and be thankful that it isn't developing into something worse.

And we will keep plugging along, hoping the antibiotics wipe it out and we have seen the last of it in our house.

Life

2009-11-06T09:09:00.005-05:00

The word "Life" was scratched into the wooden bench in front of me at the courthouse. I sat there studying the graffiti as I waited for the instructions to the jurors to begin. I wondered the meaning of that word to the person who etched it in. Was it another potential juror such as myself, contemplating the meaning of our purpose here? Was it scratched by a witness to the crime, waiting to take the stand to testify, hoping that the accused would be convicted and sentenced to life in prison? Or was it scratched by a believer that all life is sacred and should be preserved, wanting to pass the message onto the hundreds of other people who would be sitting in these very seats.

The courtroom was elaborate and stately. History surrounded us in the paintings on the walls and in the sculptures of judges who resided on the bench as many as 150 years ago. A stone cod fish hung from the ornately painted ceiling, his nose pointed toward the judges bench. I took my time examining the room, it's chandeliers and the sounds of echoing footsteps through the hallways.

Jury duty progressed from the waiting, into instruction, then to moving to smaller rooms to wait some more. I got many chapters of my book, Olive Kitteredge read and observed what others around me were reading. A woman slightly older than myself was reading "The Glass Castle" - the book written by Jeannette Walls whom I had met in person the week before. I thought about approaching her to strike up a conversation about it, but didn't that day. . .what I didn't realize was there would be plenty of time for that later. Another man was reading "Catch me if you can." There were romance novels, adventure novels, mysteries, spy novels, Wall Street Journals, Time Magazines, Blackberries, iPhones. . .everyone was reading something. In a room of 65 jurors there was complete silence as if we were all taking board exams. Once in awhile someone would speak up and say, "I'm finished with this magazine if anyone wants it." Then there would be shuffling, responses and then quiet would settle over us again.

Finally after 2 hours of waiting, the court officer came to us, thanked us for our patience and said, "If your jury number is between 1 and 49 follow me." Groans and sighs went through the room as people realized they fell in that number. Did that mean that we would be here even longer? My number was 22 - safely in the middle. I rose and followed the crowd to the hallway, past the large superior courtroom, into a smaller room labeled "Superior Courtroom number 2." This room was a disappointment. After being in the main, hallowed halls of the other courtroom, sitting in the small confines of a room barely bigger than my family room with 49 jurors, lawyers, a judge, court officer, court clerk, stenographer and the plaintiff and defendant in the case, I felt slightly claustrophobic.

The judge gave us a brief overview of the case being tried. It was a civil suit of a landscaper who had a fairly large, successful business who decided to buy another smaller landscape business from a man who was getting close to retirement. They drafted a purchase and sale agreement and the older man came to work for the younger. The problem occurred when the older man was unhappy with the way the larger business was ran and found many of his long-time customers were also unhappy. The younger man was unwilling to change his business practices (they had been successful for him after all) and words were exchanged. The older man quit the job and a few weeks later was found working on the properties he had "sold" to the other business despite having signed a "non-compete" agreement for these.

The impanelment of the jury began and I was deeply entranced by the process. They ask you several questions, "Do you know either of the parties? Do you know the lawyers? Do you know any of these witnesses from the list? Do you have any reason to suspect you might be biased?" If your answer was yes to any of the questions, you were to raise your jury card and the court officer went around the room shouting out the numbers while the court clerk kept track of them. At the end of the questioning they went through the numbers starting with number 1. "Juror number 1 please approach the bench." This meant that the number 1 juror had answered yes to one of the questions. She stepped up to speak with the judge and the two attorneys and then the judge gestured toward the doorway and the court officer escorted her from the courtroom. Then the court clerk again spoke, "Juror number 2 please take jury seat number 1."

The first juror was seated and so on through the numbers they went. It was like waiting for the big climax of the movie or waiting for the doctor to give you that dreaded diagnosis. Would they get to number 22 before they filled the 12 seats? I was nervous with anticipation. The man next to me was staring intently at his card that had a big "20" printed on it. Well, at least I know he'd go before me. He sighed heavily every time someone was excused from the room and another number closer to his was seated in the jury box.

Finally the 12th seat was the only one empty and I began planning the rest of my day. Lunch at Panera sounded good. Then maybe a trip to Kmart for some supplies, maybe stop by the mall to pick up a gift for my friend's birthday. "Juror number 20 please take seat 12." A large groan and sigh came from beside me as he gathered his things and trudged to the last seat. I relaxed down into my chair, but was still watching the proceedings. They weren't excusing us yet. The lawyers and the judge were looking over our questionnaires that we had filled out. Then they started calling up some of the 12 jurors to ask them questions about what they had written down. Each one that they called up returned to their same seats, so I still wasn't worried.

Then it happened. The clerk turned toward the courtroom and stated, "Jurors in seats 4, 6 and 8 you are excused."

Now it was my turn to groan. "Juror number 22 please take seat 4."

There I was. Impaneled on a jury for my first time ever. And the judge said the trial was going to last at least all week, maybe into next.

The week only ended up lasting until Thursday. Hours and hours of testimony from witnesses, pages and pages of notes taken by each of us jurors, thousands of copies of evidence made for everyone. . . all to be a waste as the parties decided to settle out of court. I'm glad they decided to settle. . .I was struggling with how I felt about the case. On one hand the younger business owner had a right to be mad for the older man to work for customers he had spent A LOT of money on in their transaction. But he still owed him money for the business and it didn't seem right that the older man wasn't going to be compensated for his business he had spent 40 years building from nothing after immigrating here from The Azores. After all, the older man said when he took the witness stand, "I was only doing (the younger man) a favor by working on those properties. Because if they had called a different landscaper to do those small jobs, they might have taken all their business to them and he would have lost that contract entirely. After all (the younger man) still owed me for the business and it was set up on a percentage of sales. I didn't want the sales to go down because then the payments to me would go down as well."

Ahh, that makes sense. . .and maybe the younger man finally - after 3 years of fighting about this - heard him. That night he offered the older man the adjusted amount owed and all was well.

Along the way I met some interesting people. It always intrigues me how a group of complete strangers can so quickly get to know and like each other. The first day, I had lunch with a woman named Marie who worked in a research laboratory at Woods Hole with the underwater submersibles (Alvin). Wow, cool.

Then I became friendly with the juror in seat 5. She had a daughter who was in the process of buying a house in LA and was frequently getting text messages with updates about the offers/counteroffers, etc. The woman in seat 6 (the reader of The Glass Castle) was a biologist from the National Seashore and had a lot to say about unrestrained dogs on the beaches that disturbed the endangered Piping Plover population.

Then there was the Harvard graduate with a PhD in some kind of science who did beekeeping as a hobby. This sparked much interest from the rest of the jury and there was a lot of "bee" conversations during our down time. Who knew I'd learn the difference between the passive Italian bees and their aggressive counterparts the African? Also did you know that bees don't hibernate in the winter like most insects? They are still active in the hive, but stay put unless the weather is 45 or above. This man's hives produce 75 pounds of honey a year of which he is only able to sell about 40 pounds of. . .and he doesn't even like honey. It gives him an upset stomach.

Then there was the journalist who was late one day because he almost burned his house down with an errant tea pot. . .a man who was an insurance salesman whose wife baked us wonderful homemade chocolate chip cookies. . .a woman who worked in a law office who had approached the bench with a request to be excused because she had already served on 3 juries (obviously didn't work). . .the man who had been number 20 who didn't interact with any of us, but spent the whole time on his cell phone with his office whenever we had a break. . .an older woman who walked with a cane and didn't share much about her life, but made sure to ask about how my kids were feeling every day (Melanie home sick with H1N1 - another story for another day). . . and a very nice older, retired man from Portugal who had a granddaughter also home sick with a fever.

The judge in the case was wonderful. I thought he was probably the opposite of what you would expect a judge to be. He was considerate - always concerned with our comfort and the need to stretch or take a break. He made sure that everyone talked slowly and loudly so the stenographer could keep up. He made the attorneys approach the bench frequently to scold them about asking the same questions over and over and wasting all our time. And he didn't hesitate to explain things thoroughly to us, understanding that many of us had never even been inside a courtroom before.

In all it was a positive experience (one thankfully I won't have to repeat for at least 3 years since serving makes me exempt for that length of time). I learned a lot about our American civil court system and met some people I never would have crossed paths with on any other occasion. I also learned how much effort, time and money is put into creating a lawsuit against someone and vow that I will hopefully never find myself in that situation. If we could all work out our differences in a different manner without the lawyers and the courtrooms, what a difference LIFE would be.

Substitute Grandparents

2009-10-18T15:58:00.003-04:00

I always imagined myself in a career where I would work with children. When I was a child myself, I wanted to be a teacher someday. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to babysit and then when the time for college came, I took on any job I could that involved kids. I was a behavior teacher to kids with autism and a respite care worker for families with special needs.

Life led me down a different path. After school I worked in a rehab facility because they paid for my schooling. But I was the lead therapist if we ever had any pediatric patients (we had one while I was there). Then Tom and I got married and decided to move east. The job offers came easily for skilled nursing facilities and I took one with the paycheck that could support us until he got his business off the ground, always thinking someday I would venture into the pediatric world where I really belonged.

Life again took over. . .I actually found pleasure working with the geriatric population and stuck around until my first child was born. Then I quit the job and went to work for Tom for awhile until after Kylie was born. It wasn't until the RHCI Children's Center opened that I considered going back into OT. That's what I became an OT for, right? It was the kids.

So for 2 years I worked with children, both in the rehab setting and in the schools. But something kept leading me back to the geriatrics. Maybe it's their stories about their rich, fulfilling, sometime difficult lives that I can't get enough of. Maybe it's the challenge of trying anything and everything to get them home again where they want to be - to help them not give up and give into the process of aging - not yet. And the rewards I would experience when we as a team of therapists, nurses and doctors would be successful.

Two patients of mine that I have had over the years really stick with me. I will change their names to protect their privacy, but if any of my co-workers read this, they will surely recognize them. First is George. He is a sweet, loving man in his 90s that has lived alone ever since his wife passed away. He still managed all his own household and yard duties, still drove and still made all his own meals. What brought George to us was an accident on his riding lawn mower. He had gotten his leg stuck in between the wheel and the engine and had been there for several hours before a neighbor happened upon him and helped him. He had broken his leg and surgery (due to his age and heart trouble) wasn't really an option. So in he came for rehab with his knee immobilizer on - needing us to make him strong and safe again to go home.

George was extremely hard of hearing and I usually have difficulty communicating with someone very deaf. I have a soft voice and sometimes even if I feel like I'm shouting I still can't get the person to understand me. But somehow George and I could communicate with each other. He had soft, penetrating eyes and a fearless expression on his face at all times. While I would be working with him in therapy, we would talk extensively about his life, about my kids, about books, the news headlines and about why it was so important for him to get home and be independent once more. He was strong and feisty and I looked forward to all our sessions together. I often thought of him as a grandparent figure. If either of my grandfathers had still been alive, I imagined these were the kinds of conversations I would have with them. When we sent him home, I was sad to see him go, but satisfied that he would be safe - for now anyway.

Then there was Kathryn. 92 years old and mentally sound and competent. She had been shopping at Stop and Shop for a family picnic and had lifted a large watermelon (she always brought the watermelon) to put into her cart. But the watermelon had slipped from her hands and instead of letting it smash to her feet, she instinctively reached out to catch it. In doing so she tore the rotator cuff muscles in her shoulder. Being healthy, the doctors decided to give her the surgery necessary to regain some of her function.

Kathryn came to us in a lot of pain and needed some TLC and encouragement to participate in the rigorous rehab of her shoulder. She reminded me of my own grandmother before she had started to lose her memory. Grandma had been a patient of mine in Kansas after she broke her hip. She hated pain!! Had no tolerance for it. But she was fiercely independent and don't you dare ever suggest she needed to slow down or stop driving or carrying a watermelon! So I would very, very gently range Kathryn's arm during therapy, thinking of Grandma. And to distract her, she and I would talk about her husband who resided on our long term Alzheimer's unit. I was intrigued by her stories of her life before he had become sick and how she had witnessed his slow decline from successful respected businessman to someone who couldn't remember his the names of his children or eventually how to feed himself. Kathryn was sad to have lost him in such a way, but at the end of each of our sessions she would ask me if I could wheel her down to sit with Al downstairs. I would oblige and would even stick around to watch as he ignored his own wife, or when he would acknowledge she was there, would say something mean and spiteful toward her. She would never give up in her devotion to him, would explain to those around us, "This isn't Al talking. It's the Alzheimer's. He was never anything but kind to me in our lives."

Kathryn's spirit and determination was inspirational to me. I found a deep respect for her and a certain kinship. I was determined that we would get her back home independent again and one day she would be shopping and driving just as before.

Al passed away shortly after Kathryn was discharged home. It made me feel sad for her, but I knew the Al she had known and loved had been gone long before his death. Now, maybe, I thought to myself, she could live without worrying about whether he was eating right, or not being aggressive toward the staff or not falling out of bed and breaking a hip. Now Kathryn could focus on her own health.

Both of these patients I had worked with about a year ago. Now they are both back at our facility once again. They have both declined significantly over the last year. George's knees will no longer support his weight at all and he has to be transferred with a sliding board in and out of his chair. He is awaiting surgery - the surgery that the doctor a year ago didn't advise because of his heart condition - but now without it he will never walk again. He is not on therapy services as he waits for his operation, but I find myself in his room every single day checking on him and sitting at his bedside, falling into the easy conversations we once had. Now his breathing is labored and he wears oxygen most days and I worry that if they do the surgery he might not wake up. I worry that if they don't do the surgery he will pass away from loss. . .the loss of his independence and future.

Kathryn had fallen at home and broken some vertebrae in her back. She wears a back brace and has a lot of pain and discomfort with walking. She doesn't remember me or our conversations we had the last time she was there. Her mind, once sharp as a tack was now leading her to be forgetful - forgetting our names and why she is there, again reminding me of my own grandmother's decline. I look at her with sadness, wondering if losing Al was more than she could handle. Maybe she needed him alive, to keep her own mental status in check - because she had something to focus on - he needed her so she maintained herself for him. I still stop in and chat with her even though she doesn't know who I am. I see the confusion in her eyes and the wish that she could grasp onto some sort of memory that would link me to her.

There are many other patients I have worked with over the years that also stick with me. There's Mary who had a stroke with complete right sided flaccidity, but she never lost her sense of humor. She was a difficult transfer and once I found myself sitting on her bed with her in my lap (the only way I could have kept her from hitting the floor) both of us erupting into a serious case of the giggles before another therapist happened along and untangled us.

There is Frank who survived a submarine explosion in WWII, lasting for 2 days in the frigid water until a cargo ship happened along and rescued him, taking him to New Zealand where he recuperated for 2 weeks until going home to a family who had already had his funeral.

Who can forget Stan who had a stroke that left him unable to speak with his voice, but had an amazing ability to get his point across with his facial expressions, stomping his foot, and pointing rigorously to his communication board.

Then there was the one patient in Kansas - Paul - the young stroke patient who had at one time played for the Harlem Globetrotters. He also was aphasic (unable to speak) and had severe neglect of his right side of his body. The sadness and helplessness in his eyes was difficult to bear with at times. I would find myself constantly praising him and encouraging him even though his progress was extremely slow and hopeless.

And Tim. Oh, Tim. He was the 19 year old spinal cord injury patient who dove into a pool at a party and had broken his neck. I was only 22 when I worked with Tim and he used to look at me with such determination and hope that he could overcome this. His parents wanted him transferred to a top spinal cord injury center in Hawaii, sure that something could be done to progress his therapy even faster. He was destined to a life in a wheelchair and I often wonder where he is now. Did he succumb to the complications that can arise from such an injury? Or is he still out there looking for a miracle to get him walking again? Or maybe he became a spokesperson for spinal cord injuries. I'm sure I'll never know.

And there is Eliza who wants to go back to her house so badly and live alone, but is battling fiercely with her children who think they know what's best for her and want her to move to an assisted living. But she won't budge in her stance and I worry that if her children are successful in getting her to move from her beloved home she will slowly wither away and be consumed by her own depression.

Each person I see has a story - a long, rich, complicated story that led them to the point in their lives that they needed my help. I am there to try to assist them through this phase in their lives. Assist them to return to some kind of functional life where they can live out the rest of their days in peace and happiness. So the reward, although not what I expected to be doing when I started this career, is satisfying and complete.

Mary, Mary

2009-10-15T19:35:00.002-04:00

A shout out to my friend Mary who informed me about this great query contest done by another Mary from KidLit.com. . .check it out all you writers! Deadline for entries is October 31. Hmmm, now which one should I submit??

Being 6

2009-10-12T09:25:00.007-04:00

I am the proud mother of a 6 almost 7 year old. Inside a 6 year old's mind must be a truly happy place to be. To be able to dance through life on a whim would be purely magical.

My 6 year old is one that has a hard time focusing on what she "supposed" to be doing. It's not ADD. . .she can focus fine in school - in fact almost too well. But unfortunately the rigors of 1st grade don't allow for a whole day to be spent on getting the googly eyes on her sock puppet positioned just right, so that leads to frustration and tears (I think less this year than last, so she's learning to adjust).

But no, her focus is difficult to maintain at home. Brushing teeth is a perfect example. I tell her to go brush. . .then 10 minutes later I tell her again. . .10 minutes and so on until she's finally in front of the mirror. But wait, first she has to wash her hands, but the sink is all wet, so first she has to dry the sink off, but the towel is wet from Melanie who just washed her hands, so she needs a new towel, and so on. Finally she gets her toothbrush in her hand but then she catches sight of herself in the mirror. Oh, look at the funny faces I can make! "Mommy, come here! Look at my fish face!"

"Yes, yes." I say. "Come on. Let's brush." I hurry her along and give her the toothpaste. Oh, too much toothpaste, need to start all over. Finally get just the right amount of paste and wetness on the brush so I retreat across the hall to let her brush.

And then "AAAAAAA!!!!!!"

"What?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What, Kylie? Why are you screaming?"

"There is a fly in here!!!! AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

I look to no avail. See no fly, anywhere.

"Kylie brush." It just by this points comes out of my mouth automatically for about the 3,000th time in a 5 minute period.

We have a rule that you stay in the bathroom over the sink while you are brushing your teeth. Does anyone else have to implement this rule? Well it's a rule that Kylie has successfully broken each and every time she brushes her teeth. She dances down the hall, comes to tell me a story about something that happened in school, goes through Melanie's things, etc, etc all while the toothbrush is in the side of her mouth brushing the same 2 molars.

Finally after 30 minutes from the first time I told her to brush, she is finished. Not sure if she actually got all the teeth, but maybe next time.

Then there are the times when we are all busy bees, cleaning, putting away clothes and so on. Melanie is quietly in her room doing what she is supposed to be doing. From Kylie's room I hear music and then. . .

"Turn, gallop, gallop, gallop, turn, plie'. Step to the side, turn, gallop, gallop, turn plie'." I open the door and see her eyes closed dancing around the room with a pile of shirts in her arms she is supposed to be putting away.

"Kylie. Focus please. Let's get your clothes put away, then you can dance."

"But Mommy, I'm working on my show for tonight. Watch." Then she proceeds to gallop, gallop, turn, plie'.

This past Saturday night, Melanie was at a sleepover and Tom didn't have to work. We had a rare night with just Kylie all to ourselves. Tom wanted to go for a run, so we decided to pack Kylie's bike in the car and all of us head to the canal.

"She has trouble going straight and getting herself started." I tell Tom.

Every time I try to get her to start herself, she has about 300 things to tell me. All non-bike related.

"Are those bats?" She says pointing to the Cormorants perched on the dock.

"No, honey, Cormorants. Ok. you need to put your foot down and push off as the other foot goes to the pedal."

"Is this the deep end?"

"Deep end of what?"

"The canal?'

"It's all deep, all the way through."

"What if I lose my jacket?"

I look at her. Her zippered sweatshirt in on her securely, zipped even.

"How would you lose your jacket?"

"If I fall in the water. What if my jacket falls off?"

"You're not going to fall in the water. You would have to drive off the sidewalk across 10 feet of grass and rock before you would even come close to the water. Ok, now push off with this foot and put your other foot on the pedal."

We finally get going and she rides on the left side of the yellow line. The side that is heading straight into the incoming runners, bikers, rollerbladers, etc. Luckily it's near dark and the canal is nearly deserted.

"Kylie you are supposed to stay on the right side of the line."

"I don't want to fall in the water."

Then she weaves. From one side of the sidewalk to the other.

"Try to go straight."

She giggles.

Tom is running in front of her, turning around, running backward.

"Follow Daddy." I tell her.

She giggles again then slams on her brakes. Tom comes to her to help her get started.

"Is there a such thing as bats, daddy?"

And so it begins again. . . .

When my cousin who is 10 years older than me was visiting with her family this summer, after having a chance to get to know the real Kylie, she commented to one of my friends, "I remember Kelli as a little girl at Grandma's house. She acted just like Kylie."

"What?? No way." I say.

But my friends laugh and grab onto that statement. Now everytime Kylie acts up around them they say, "she's just following after her Mama!"

Could it be? Did I act like that?

Every once in awhile, when I throw responsibility to the wind and forget about that ever ticking clock that is telling us we are way past bedtime, I'll find myself next to Kylie. . .

Gallop, gallop, turn plie'. . .all while making fish faces.

Beyond the surgery

2009-10-09T09:50:00.005-04:00

Eighteen days post-op from gallbladder surgery and other than one itchy spot I feel like nothing happened.

I had no idea what to expect the recovery to be like. The doctor's description was vague, everyone I talked to who had it done had a different story to share. Some were down for the count for a month, others were back to work 4 days later. I would say for me it was about a week before I was feeling somewhat normal again.

The first 24 hours were tough. I learned that my stomach is much weaker than I thought. I always prided myself in my iron stomach. The sight of blood doesn't bother me. I made it easily through dissection cadaver lab (a whole summer of dissecting a human body that had been eaten away by cancer - saw things that could make your head spin. We had to actually abandon our body and join another group because the organs were so badly damaged). I work with patients who have open wounds and varying continence levels (do get a little nauseous when they brush their teeth though - can't really explain that one).

But give me a drug of any kind and my stomach goes into protection mode. After my c-sections I couldn't keep anything down for awhile. After this gallbladder surgery, I was afraid to take the pain pills right away because the anesthesia itself had made me nauseous. I finally gave in and had the nurse give me something. After all my shoulder was killing me.

My shoulder? I expected my abdomen to hurt, but not my shoulder. After researching it, I found out that when they pump you full of air to get a better look at the organs inside, the result is terrible shoulder pain. That was the worst. I couldn't take a breath.

And then there was the bladder issues. My bladder went to sleep with the anesthesia and took it's time in waking up. Like 36 hours worth of time. Bladder pain, shoulder pain, abdominal muscle pain. . .and then the nausea.

I went home about 4:00 on the day of surgery. I was uncomfortable at the hospital. Had to get out of that environment. I felt much better at home, but it was a long, rough night. And the next day was rough too. I was starting to regret having the surgery done.

But day 3 dawned and the pain wasn't quite as bad. I decided time for a shower and some ibuprofen. Now the shoulder pain was lessened, I could actually go to the bathroom (finally) and the muscles weren't screaming at me. I cringed at the sight of the morphine and knew I was done with narcotics.

Day 4 was even better than day 3. But on day 5 the incisions started to hurt. I hadn't felt anything from them until then. The doctor had told me that he put a long lasting anesthetic on them. I think I felt it the moment that it wore off. More ibuprofen and I decided I was ready to drive again. Mom and I met my girlfriends at the canal and despite windy, chilly conditions and pants that were a little uncomfortable across my swollen belly I walked the entire 4 miles with them. Woo-hoo! What an accomplishment!

But that night the fatigue hit me like a ton of bricks sometime during the pizza/bingo night at the school. Every year that is an exhausting, over-stimulating night for me. I don't know why I thought I could handle it 4 days after surgery. I was ready to go home and lay on the couch again.

Saturday was recovery day from Friday. Other than Kylie's soccer game, we pretty much laid low the whole day. Sunday back to church and then by Monday I was ready to re-enter the world full-force. So one week. . .for all of you out there who may have to have this done sometime. One week to feel normal again - but give yourself that 2nd week to ease yourself back into life, make sure you're ready to tackle the crazy schedule and routine. Have your mom there to lean on if you need extra help or need to take a break. That would be my advice! But we are all different. If your bladder doesn't decide to take a long siesta and you don't have any trouble with nausea, you could be fine even quicker. But if you have complications or an infection it could take longer.

Oh, and when the glue falls off sometime in the 3rd week. . .it's not pretty and it hurts like a band aid. . .a really stuck band aid on a really sensitive spot.

The doctor says I'm recovering perfectly and gave me one tidbit. . ."the only side-effect with eating from here on out is that now that you can eat anything you want to, you may gain weight."

What???!?

"Often times my patients are so used to staying away from the high fat foods, that now that they can eat them they over-indulge."

Great, so the pint of Ben and Jerry's I had this week wasn't a good idea?

But the thought of some fried food and pizza and ice cream keep nagging at me. . .I stayed away from that stuff all summer and didn't lose a pound. Not fair. Since the surgery I am down 4 pounds, but I expect that to go back up now that my appetite is back (and with a vengeance!).

I have to say a big THANK YOU to my mom. She took care of me, rubbed my back when I was sick and kept the girls quiet, fed and entertained.

Tom was great too. . . stayed with me all that day at the hospital. . .didn't leave my side even to get himself some lunch, drove all over creation to find the horrible drugs that I didn't end up taking more than a couple of.

And the girls. . .I think they learned compassion and understanding for how to behave when someone doesn't feel well. I have two wonderful, strong daughters. Kylie asks a lot of questions about it all - the drugs, the pain, the incisions, the anesthesia. She worries she will have to have surgery too some day. A friend of hers just had a kidney removed (and back in school 8 days later!!!), so it seems she's surrounded at the moment and is having a bit of anxiety about it. But if she does end up having surgery someday, I hope that my and her friend's example she will know that she can be just as strong and healthy as she was before and not to be afraid.

Rejection Part 2

2009-09-19T13:24:00.002-04:00

Something to add to the story below and part of another reason why I haven't sent off that revision. . .

Recently I was in Titcomb's Bookshop. Now, I love Titcomb's. It's my favorite bookstore. . .the smells of old books, the soft music playing, the authors who visit, the activities they plan, the ladies who work there and love to read and know every book in that shop. . .all of it. While I was making a purchase one day a lady comes in with a children's picture book under her arm and engages in a discussion with the manager that went something like this:

Author: I have published this book and would like to know if you would sell my book here and let me do an author's signing.

Manager (looking the book over quickly): Has it been reviewed?

Author: It's listed on Barnes and Noble, Amazon and Borders. I have reviews there.

Manager: By a newspaper?

Author: No. (she's starting to scramble) But, I live locally. I live here in Sandwich.

Manager: We don't do any book signings until it's been reviewed.

Author: Oh. How do I go about that?

The manager kindly proceeded to explain the process to her. . .a process I know about because I attended a workshop about getting your book reviewed by a newspaper. Bigger newspapers get upwards of 500 books per week to review and if you have seen your Sunday paper lately, how many of them actually make it in? About 10? 20? How many of those are children's picture books?

I left the store feeling sorry for this woman. She went through the agonizing process of getting an agent and a publisher and now her own local bookshop wasn't going to allow her to sell it there until she gets it reviewed, which may never happen. These days the publishers don't do the marketing for you. They pretty much leave it up to the authors to take care of that.

Didn't make me feel very enthusiastic or encouraged!!

Rejection!!

2009-09-19T11:24:00.006-04:00

Usually I keep quiet about my journey as a writer. Continuous rejection can do wonders for your confidence. . .but there are positives about the journey that I should share. . .

Recently I finished a novel for young adults, the third young adult novel I have written. Not thinking too much more about it than other books I had written I submitted my query letters to ten agents. Three of the ten responded quickly, asking to see more (a good sign!). One asked for an exclusive (I said no). After sending additional material, two wanted to see the whole thing. Six weeks pass and being down this road several times I didn't think or worry too much about it. Then one day an agent called me on the phone. Now, this has never happened before. Unfortunately I was mowing the lawn and Melanie took a message. The agent said she would be emailing me, so no message was necessary.

My hands shook as I signed on and checked my email. It was a rejection. . .but nicer in a way. She said she loved the story, loved the writing, but it just wasn't as "dazzling" as other stories she was considering.

Well, the other agent was still out there. . .there's always one more chance on the horizon. Then the email came:

I loved the intensity that you created between Sam and Pete - I feel like you nailed their relationship 100%. I also really enjoyed the premise - a young adult heroine in (sorry don't want to reveal too many story details) who deals with her life and its challenges with maturity and a good sense of humor (most of the time of course).

But then this sentence:

It is with regret that I am going to pass on the offer of representation.

It was the closest I had ever come to a yes. I emailed her back and said thank you for the feedback and then another email from her:

I would read a revision. I really enjoyed reading this story and was hoping my answer would have been yes. If you do end up rewriting, simply email me back and I'll see what's in my queue at the time.

So, not a complete no. . .

Did I revise it? Yes, I did. right away.

Have I sent it? No. I'm not sure why such the hesitation. I have written the email to her on more than one occasion, but decide to wait and delete it before sending it. It could still be better, is one reason I haven't sent it. How can I make it better? Not sure. . .need real time to be able to sit down and focus and concentrate 100% on it. Another reason is that all writers seem to write all summer and then submit at the end of the summer, resulting in agents being bombarded in the fall with queries. Not a good time to try to stand out.

So it sits in its file in my computer, waiting for me to have time to really focus on it and make it the best it can be and then try to send it when I think maybe the agent has had time to catch up and can enjoy my novel.

And I remember when sitting one on one with an agent at the Cape Cod Writer's Conference that she told me I was further along than any other author she had met with lately. That she couldn't blow any holes in my story, that I was a better candidate than many others and not to give up. And she told me women's fiction is dead (all I had ever written at that point) and to consider making the jump to YA. Women aren't buying or reading as much as they used to. Publishers are going out of business, only accepting books from established authors. To break into the biz as an unpublished author is becoming next to impossible. YA is the way to go. . .

So I wait for inspiration. . .I wait for the big idea that will make this story dazzle. . .Or even the big idea that will create a completely different dazzling story. Something that the agent will find among the 50 other queries from that day that will make him or her say, "Wait a minute. . .what's this?" It's there somewhere and I'm getting closer. Keep your fingers crossed - maybe in the haze of anesthesia next week it will find me, or in the drudgery of day to day tasks and cleaning or in the car while driving to work or as for me - where a ton of my story ideas come from - in my dreams. . .waking up with the story that will give me that yes that I've been waiting for. . .

Success!

2009-09-15T10:46:00.005-04:00

One week of school down. . .how many to go?

I had thought that the first two weeks of school prior to my scheduled gall bladder surgery, I would have some time to catch up on blogging, finishing reading that novel I have been working on for a few weeks (Friday Night Knitting Club. . .for some reason can't get through it!), watching Regis and Kelly and maybe even catch Oprah once or twice. Not a chance. Haven't even had the TV on during the day or picked up a book. I did manage to get a Shutterfly album done, but that was easy - I uploaded the pics in order and hit "auto-fill."

It makes me wonder how I will manage to fit in working 4 days a week. But as everything -we'll adjust. It will mean packing three lunches and two snacks every day (really, why do the kids need snack right before lunch? Know what I do? I just take part of their lunch and pack it as the snack. That's as much as they'd eat in a day if they were home). It will mean getting up at 6:00 instead of 6:30 and will mean packing dance clothes, ice skating clothes and all other after school activities in the car the night before. It will mean fitting in groceries, laundry, cleaning, mowing and errands all on my one day off and weekends. It will mean less time to work on Girl Scouts and other volunteer projects and less time to chat with friends.

I do enjoy work, but I don't look forward to the harried feeling that I will have until we adjust.

Just like I do enjoy feeling well and being able to enjoy a burger, ice cream or pizza now and then, but I don't look forward to having IVs, anesthesia and pain meds to deal with. Ick.

Oh well, I know it's all part of life and part of our responsibilities. I just hope I can look past the transitions over the next few weeks and enjoy the "right now." It will be great having my mom here again so soon to help out and hopefully I'll feel great in just a day or two and can enjoy the visit more than have her wait on me.

Kylie had her first ice skating lesson yesterday and there was a horrendous traffic back up (bridge construction + medical emergency + accident at exit 2) that made us almost 15 minutes late. Since I knew we were going to be really late, I told Melanie to help Kylie put her skates on in the backseat and I would carry her in (we had to drop Melanie off at piano first on the way to skating). When they started to put the skates on, they realized one skate didn't have it's lace. Ugh! (Long story as to why). So I took my left shoe off, threw it in the backseat and told Melanie to unlace it and use my lace for the skate. Unfortunately, Melanie hasn't really ever laced up shoes by herself before and was having difficulty following my visual demonstrations from the front, so I had her pass me the skate and I started it while we were sitting at a dead stop on Rt 130. Dropped Mel quickly at her lesson, then continued on to the rink while Kylie in the backseat kept telling me the lace wasn't long enough. Get to the rink and I see that both skates are laced REALLY loosely, so I quick try to tighten them. Then I carried Kylie in while I was walking without one lace. . .NOT easy. Finally I set her down in the parking lot in her skates while I took off my sneaker and walked in - one shoe on and one shoe off. Lessons had already started and were well under way. If you've never been to Gallo for lesssons, let me set the visual. Tons of kids on the ice. . .tons of parents milling around the sign up table. Confusion since it was the first day and disorganization. Finally I got someone who could help direct Kylie to the right class and off she went with a teacher. I took a deep breath and limped my way up the stairs to watch from the bleachers. Just as I sat next to a nice, warm looking mom who obviously appreciated the stress I was under, I noticed the teacher examining Kylie's skates. . .what? Couldn't she have a sneaker shoelace?? The teacher starts scanning the crowd so I stand up, collect my things, hobble back down the steps and they find me in the crowd. "Her laces are way too loose. You need to tighten them." I utter an apology and a quick excuse, "traffic, rushed, sorry." I spend a few minutes REALLY tightening the laces AGAIN and send her back out. This time the class (the most beginner class she can be in) skates away, all unassisted, leaving Kylie clinging to the wall. Tears start. . .I feel horrible and think I should just take her and go, but then one of the teachers skates back, takes her hand and Kylie's face lights up as she takes her first few tentative steps. Then, she was skating. Class ended shortly after and Kylie had managed to skate by herself for a few of those minutes. When she came off the ice she was beaming (I was worried she would think she was the worst in the class), but she said, "Mommy, I can skate! I want to stay and keep skating!" Made all the stress melt away.

School has gone well. The girls are really enjoying themselves. I'm so lucky to have kids who really like school and enjoy learning. Seems like Melanie is going to have a big homework load, but somehow we'll fit it all in!

Saying Goodbye to Summer

2009-09-07T20:32:00.000-04:00

Backpacks are packed, school supplies are labeled and by the front door, girls are clean, nails painted, clothes are laid out for tomorrow and the excitement of a new school year is in the air.

As I combed Kylie's hair after her shower tonight, I saw that her scalp was still filled with tiny grains of sand. I laughed thinking it may be until November before all the sand is our of our hair, off our floors, out of our cars. But each time we see a speck of sand it will be a remembrance of this wonderful summer we shared together.

We spent this weekend soaking up as much last minute fun as possible. Thursday was our last BIG beach day. . . we loaded up the cars and headed for Mayflower Beach in Dennis. In all my years as a Cape Codder I had never ventured to Mayflower before even though it's one of the most popular beaches. The sun played tricks on us throughout the day, hiding behind the clouds, causing the kids to dive under their beach towels and bundle up, then coming back into the open, making us all shed some layers and seek out the cool water.

We finished the day off by finding a completely "rustic" Cape Cod seafood place called the Sesuit Harbor Cafe. Run down with old unpainted wood it looked like a fishing shack at the end of the dock. Inside was bustling - a long line of beachgoers curving around a baby grand piano. There were only picnic tables outside and finding one was tricky, but we finally settled ourselves next to a large group - turned out to be a wedding rehearsal dinner. That is true Cape Cod for you. . .the more rustic, unsuspecting and off the beaten path it is - the better it is. We watched the sunset as we feasted on our fish and chips and BYOB drinks. . .

Saturday was Kylie's first soccer game with Sandwich Soccer. She is on team Australia and actually has the same coach she had when she played for the Y. She knows many of the girls on her team and she showed amazing improvement over the last time she played. Now she actually went after the ball and kicked it in the right direction and to her teammates. We were very proud of her and went for ice cream after.

Saturday night we gathered with several of our friends for a bonfire at Sandy Neck. Lots of good food, drinks and fun was had by all. The kids had the most fun - running, screaming, laughing and playing. They even put on a show for us at 10 pm. . .way past everyone's bedtimes.

Sunday we managed to drag our tired selves out of bed and go to Falmouth to try out the Shining Sea Bike Path - another first for me. Melanie had learned to ride her bike without training wheels at the beginning of the summer and Kylie had been working on it (but wasn't quite there yet), so we thought we'd try it. Melanie was nervous about the narrow, busy path at first but eventually fell into a comfort zone (until she got run over by another biker while she was on foot - ouch!) But we settled her back and and she and her friend Kate actually finished the 4 miles ahead of everyone else.

Kylie pooped out pretty quickly with those pesky training wheels. She needed A TON of encouragement to keep going and we finally finished. Next time as Amy says, we will make a date with our hubbies and do the bike path without the kids. Riding along the coast is just breathtaking and taking a pit stop at a beach with our picnic sounds so romantic. . . :-)

The nine year olds still have some energy after two miles

The six year olds look a bit pooped. But Ben had the easiest and most sought after role - the one who got to ride in the baby seat. . .everyone envied him!

Today was the day we decided to take off from activity and just stay home and get ready for our big first day of school. We had accomplished all the goals the girls set for themselves at the beginning of the summer, except for the training wheels on Kylie's bike. Well, I told her, we have a few hours left, wanna try it? She was up for it, so away we went and within a few minutes she had the balance down well enough for me to let go of her, but then getting her to steer for longer than 2 or 3 seconds wasn't going well. But we stuck with it and an hour later she was riding down the street in a straight line without stopping. Woo-hoo! What an accomplishment. Check out the videos below.

It was truly a perfect ending to a perfect summer.

The money shot

2009-09-07T20:30:00.001-04:00

Runs into Melanie

2009-09-07T20:29:00.001-04:00

Summer Reflections

2009-09-01T07:12:00.013-04:00

Summer on Cape Cod is my favorite time of the year. The school year is such a busy time for us (as it is for everyone) that by April or May I am longing for some quality down time with my kids. Then all the summer camp brochures start to roll in from school and this year I just tossed one after the other into the trash. I couldn't stand the thought of getting up early every morning and shipping the kids off to camp. I wanted to spend time with them.

That's not to say they didn't do any camps. Melanie was in a 2 week long drama camp and they both particpated in two bible schools (one ours and the other invited to by friends). But that was it. The rest of the time was a schedule of our own making.

The summer started with rain. Lots and lots of rain. I wanted down time? I got it. Two weeks worth of non-beach weather. We played games, watched re-runs of Little House on the Prairie (who remembers Little House being so intense??), got a head start on their summer workbooks, had a ton of playdates with friends we never get to see, attended the the library summer reading activities, raised butterflies from caterpillers and spent as much time using our imaginations as possible. We even fit a circus performance in there.

By Fourth of July, the weather was starting to clear and the residents were venturing out into the world again. Since moving to Sandwich, the 4th has become my favorite holiday. The community spirit is almost overwhelming. This year, we started an new tradition of jetskiing on a friend's pond. One more thing to add to a marvelous day.

Long awaited beach time followed the 4th. We spent as much time as we could at as many different beaches as we could get to. Packing sandwiches, snacks and watermelon became a daily habit.

My mom came on the 14th of July for 3 weeks. She started out her visit by helping out at our Bible School and came with us to swim lessons (getting her first sunburn in many years!). We introduced her to Mr. Parsons at the library (he's a tourist attraction in himself), hunted for mermaids, went on a duck tour in Boston, spent a day at the MOS, took her for her first Barnstable County Fair experience (and first country concert!), took her for her first lobster roll, spent a day in Chatham watching the fishing boats unload and saw tons of seals, and celebrated hers and my birthdays respectively. We also taught her how to play Mexican Train Dominoes and I think she and Melanie would have been happy to skip all the other activities to just play domino game after domino game. In fact she purchased her own set of double 12 dominoes when she got back to Kansas to have her girlfriends over for a game night.

Josh Gracin concert at the fair

Chatham Lighthouse

Museum of Science

A day after Mom left, my cousins from Denver arrived consisting of my cousin Cindy (Mom's sister's daughter) and her husband, Todd and three kids, Ryan, Kelsey and Lauren. Only suddenly Ryan and Kelsey aren't kids anymore. Ryan is 20 and entering his sophomore year of college and Kelsey is a senior this year. (Were they really the same 7 and 4 year old ring bearer and flower girl at my wedding???) Lauren is only 9 and was a great playmate to my girls. They came for a visit, but also for Tom to take Kelsey's senior portraits on the beach. As soon as they drove up in our driveway, we ushered them in and headed straight for the portrait session (gotta take advantage of that good weather and with Tom shooting 2 weddings that weekend and booked solid with portraits, had to make sure their trip wasn't in vain!). The portrait session went great and we headed straight to Seafood Sams after for dinner (also a must see tourist destination for all our guests). While they were here, we showed them around Hyannis, to a Cape League ball game (Ryan is on baseball scholarship in college), took a cruise around Hyannis harbor (saw Ted Kennedy's boat Mya up close), took them to the Boardwalk at high tide where they all jumped and even got Melanie to jump (wow!), spent time at the beach, had a bonfire on the beach with our friends and lots of s'mores, watched Tom run in the Falmouth Road Race, took a drive by a lighthouse, had a family movie night (Fever Pitch), did lots of shopping and had lots of great food and drink. Then their final day the girls spent the day at Heritage Musuems while we sent the boys to Boston for a game at Fenway (sounds like they had a LOT of fun). It was a great visit. The girls didn't want Lauren to leave and we would be more than happy to have them all back again!

Kelsey, Ryan, Lauren, Cindy and Todd (Oh and there's Libby too!)
Kelsey's senior portraits

Todd, Lauren and Mel on the cruise

Ryan and Cindy

Kelsey and Kylie (best buds!)

Things slowed considerably down since our guests left, but somehow we continue to be busy every day. We have still crammed in as much beach time as possible, played tons of games, read books, shopped till we dropped, spent time with friends and with our summer learning. We spent a day at a flea market and ended up with two hermit crabs as pets (who seem to now be hanging tenuously onto life) and a day down cape at the beach, followed by the girls' first drive in movie experience.

Rainbow and Shelly
Getting ready for the drive in movie!

At the beginning of the summer, I had the girls set some goals that they wanted to accomplish over this few months. Both of them had one goal of each: social, academic, physical, emotional and fun. I have to say I am incredibly impressed with how they have grown in different ways. Kylie has made LEAPS and BOUNDS in her reading and math skills just by completing a page a day of her summer workbook. Melanie is more confident on her bike and with swimming. There are a couple of goals left unaccomplished -but we still have a week to go! (Just need Tom to take those training wheels of Kylie's bike and we're all set! She's ready!).

We have also introduced a new system of reward - the Daddy Dollar. The girls now make their beds and brush their teeth every morning without being asked. Their rooms stay picked up and messes get cleaned up without complaint, they help with the laundry, dusting and putting all their clothes away. It's a great system and so far they have stayed highly motivated. They can spend their Daddy Dollars at the Mommy store, buying family game time, movie night, sleepovers or playdates. It's fun to see them working together to save up for a dual sleepover. I've had to print more money to keep up - just like the US treasury! Since they have done so well with it, I've started an actual allowance with them at the end of the week if they have done all their chores without complaint.

One thing I have not accomplished this summer is writing. Usually the summer is good for at least one novel to come out, but I have a momentary lapse of inspiration. But I have enjoyed the vast variety of summer reading material I have completed (another blog story for another day!).

But one of the main themes of this summer has been friendship. We have spent more time with our closest friends than we ever have before and experiencing a variety of new activities. I treasure these friendships and am so thankful to have all these wonderful families in our lives to help shape my daughters' childhoods. Thanks ladies!

Amy, Donna and Wendy. What a fun pic!

Some of the crew at Mashnee Island
Wendy and Maryjo

The girls go back to school next week and another summer is coming to an end. It also signifies me going back to work, although I am having gall bladder surgery September 21, so work isn't starting up for me again until October 5 (hope I'm recovered). So I have two weeks prior to surgery while the girls are in school for time to catch up on those "me" things I haven't done all summer. Hopefully I'll get caught up on my photo albums and maybe, just maybe I'll be motivated to crack that next novel that lives inside me.

amazon

2009-08-30T15:55:00.002-04:00

Did you know I am listed on amazon.com? I didn't either really. I got an email awhile back from Lulu stating that my books had been listed on their site and kind of shrugged it off. I hadn't been writing or working on promoting myself for a long time, so this information didn't leave much of an impression on me.

One day awhile later I was on amazon for another reason and a nagging thought occured to me. Was I really here somewhere? What if someone did a search for my name? Would it come up? So I tried it. First Kelli Davis. . .Yep. . .there was one of my books then some other books from some other Kelli Davis. Then I did Kelli Mustard. . .all 3 books I have published through Lulu appeared. But there was no information on the books. No summary of the plot, nothing. So I tried to edit it and found the only way I could edit my own book listing was to write a review. And the only way I could write a review was to give it a star rating. But, this felt tacky. Do I give myself 5 stars? Well, see for yourself. Go to amazon, do a search for my name and see what you find. Then if you are a generous person, add your own review. (If you haven't read the books, buy them! Or, since I am such a supporter of the reader, let me know and I'll get you a copy).

Hope

2009-08-30T11:50:00.007-04:00

Wow. . .it's been since February that I blogged. Where does time go? Where have I been?

Part of where I've been is facebook. I used to say blogging was lazy man's scrapbooking. Well facebook is lazy man's blogging. In an instant I can update all family and friends with a picture or status update. Leaves little to talk about on my blog.

Also, my blog in the past has been a sort of journaling or instrospection if you will about life, books, writing or whatever happens to inspire me at the moment and frankly, I haven't been much inspired since February.

February 15, my father passed away after a courageous battle with cancer. I think putting that into words was difficult for me, therefore the lapse in keeping up.

But now, I'm slowly starting to come out of that. . .

I just finished reading a book called "The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb. At first it was difficult for me to really get into it. . .lots of detail, but about half way through I started to wonder where it was going to lead. The protagonist was a man who had been through an amazing amount of turmoil in his life. Columbine, addiction, abuse, family lies and deception, PTSD. . .you name it, it happened to him or someone close to him. He tended to just float along trying to make sense of all the chaos in his life, attribuiting it to mostly chaos theory. One little incident can offset a whole string of events that can become catastrophic. The main character was not a man of faith and grappled with the idea of a higher power. I kept waiting for him to have this big revelation that life was not all about chaos and there is actually some hope even in the grimmest circumstances. I won't spoil it for you who haven't read it.

It reminds me of the Kennedy family. Here is a family who wished for power, wealth and to give back to the country who had helped them to become so successful. Sometimes I wonder if in their case they should have been careful for what they wished for because sometimes it can lead to devastating results. Would Joseph Kennedy have made different decisions and pushed his sons in different directions had he had known the toll public life would take on their family? Or is the greater sacrifice worth the quest? But regardless, this family has endured incredible tragedies much like the character in The Hour I First Believed. Ted had lost all his brothers to violent deaths (two assasinations and one plane crash in war). He also made some major mistakes in life and narrowly escaped tragic death on more than one occasion. He could have given himself over to his pain and wallowed in self-pity, but instead he decided to commit himself to a life of service to his country in fighting for what he believed was right and for the most part maintained a solid faith in God along the way (although some of his political beliefs contradict strongly against his church beliefs). Watching the funeral yesterday I was moved to tears because of the sense of loss his family had to again endure.

But some of the tears were because Ted's funeral also reminded me of my own father's funeral. My dad may not have been a senator or president, but he was a very important man in his community. He also, like Ted, fought for the greater good. He helped others after Hurricane Katrina, was a minister to inmates in the pennitentary, helping them on the road to rehabilitation, educated believers and non-believers alike about the Bible and God, did an amazing amount of charity work and was highly regarded by all friends, colleagues and family members. At his funeral many people got up to speak about the positive affect he had on their lives. I found myself thinking that they knew him as this wonderful, powerful presense, but I knew him as just Dad. The man who didn't like my messy room, who liked to take goofy pictures of me pretending to hold an elephant at the zoo, who worried about me every time I got behind the wheel of the car even after I was long grown up and moved away. He would find it highly ironic that I am comparing him to Ted Kennedy. My dad the ultra-conservative compared to the Liberal Lion? But something else my dad was, was highly educated and knowledgeable about the both sides of politics and understanding it from a depth that I could never obtain. I find a hole in my life from not being able to call him up and say, "Hey Dad, what's the real deal with this health care bill?" I could find my source of information just from one simple phone call.

So, I think something Ted Kennedy said at his 1980 concession speech when he lost the presidential bid is very powerful. No matter what your political affliliation is or what your beliefs about the future of our country is, I think this can speak to all of us. Anyone who has ever faltered or lost their way in life. . .anyone who needs reminding that hope still exists even in the darkest of times. Maybe we're talking about different dreams or different hopes, but the main message is to not give up on them. So for you Dad. . .someday I would hope that I could make 1/2 as positive impact on peoples lives as you did.

". . .the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."

Let's Twist

2009-07-05T09:29:00.001-04:00

Dancing to Dale and the Duds. 4th of July 2009

Finale - Curtain Call

2009-05-10T21:47:00.001-04:00

Stray Cat Strut - Melanie's Tap Routine

2009-05-10T21:46:00.003-04:00

Who Are You - Melanie's Acro and Jazz routine

2009-05-10T21:46:00.001-04:00

Sisters Sisters - Kylie tap routine

2009-05-10T21:45:00.001-04:00

Mini Silver - Grand Finale - May 3, 2009

2009-05-03T20:56:00.001-04:00

Mini Silver

2009-03-21T18:54:00.001-04:00

Melanie's first piano recital

2009-02-08T17:46:00.002-05:00

Melanie did an excellent job at her very first piano recital today. She played three songs:

"A Song of Penny Candy"
"The Man in the Moon"
"The Party"

Watch the video to see her in action!

MVI 3127

2009-02-08T17:45:00.001-05:00

Life. . .

2009-02-03T10:18:00.006-05:00

Times are tough. . .as I sit here watching the snow squall around me, I think of all the things that are weighing on my mind today. My dad, so sick still. My mom taking care of him day and night. The economy in the world getting worse and worse every day while we who are self-employed worry about what it will mean for us. Travel coming up, while always fun, is an added stress with the expense of it all and concerns about glitches in the weather or other glitches as yet unforseen. . .Friends who are struggling in these tough times and gloomy moods all around. . .Somedays it's hard to snap out of the reverie, but also we can't let ourselves become consumed by it. Winter is half over. There is light at the end of the tunnel. The sun is shining in Florida. . .

This past weekend we had a very happy occasion to celebrate Melanie's 9th birthday with her friends for her first real slumber party. Her actual birthday is Feb 10 - the day we fly out to Florida. We have an incredibly busy weekend coming up so we decided to have her party a little early. We had 9 guests for an American Girl themed party. They each brought their dolls for a total of 11 girls and 11 dolls! When they arrived they set out their sleeping bags in the playroom, then were given menus for dinner. We served pasta with their choice of toppings, bread and veggies. For dessert they got to decorate their own cookies and make their own sundaes.

After dinner they made fleece sleeping bags and pillows for their American Girl Dolls, then picture frames complete with photo of them and their doll taken and printed by Tom. Then we made paper fortune tellers for them to play with.

After presents, I set up the projector in the playroom and they then watched Chrissa Takes a Stand (the new American Girl Doll movie) on the wall - just like the theater. After the movie they all brushed their teeth and off to bed!

Yeah, right. . .4 hours later (3:30) they were still awake, talking and laughing. I finally had to pull Melanie out of the playroom and put her in her own bed to get them to quite down. Finally rest!

All in all it was a great, fun and memorable night! I'm sure Melanie will remember this sleepover for years to come. I still remember all the slumber parties I ever had. . .and I remember how much fun and how little sleep I got too. It's all part of the experience. . .part of life. . .

First Place!

2009-01-11T19:40:00.005-05:00

Kylie's Mini Silver Team took first place in their first competition together! (Don't tell anyone that there was only one mini level 1 team there!). They did well considering their uniforms didn't come in on time and they are still polishing their routine. Kylie was nervous today. She had missed a two hour practice the week she was sick and it has taken her some time to get back into the swing of things. But she did well today. She got dropped. . .if you watch the video you'll see the little girl she was standing on hop up while Kylie was still standing on her, but it wasn't a far fall. She got right back up and kept on going. It threw her off for the rest of the performance. I could tell she was having a hard time focusing. She told me after she almost cried and stopped all together, but she didn't. I was proud of her that she was able to keep going. They have another competition in March, so they have some time to get it together and fine tune things a bit. You can see Kylie in the video below in all black. She starts on the far right hand side. She's one in a full uniform becasue she has her uniform from last year. Then she runs to the far left where she is dropped (can't miss it!). Later she does a little cartwheel in front. Then she gets a little lost. . .but she hangs in there. Just wait. By the next competition she'll be smiling from ear to ear and have it down pat.

Oh, by the way. . .the rest of the Xtreme teams did Xtremely well! One of the level 2 teams took Grand Champion for their level. The lady next to me in the stands (from the host group) asked if they were going to nationals this year, because they were really impressive. Great job girls! And the new Special Needs team, The Shining Stars were awesome. They got a standing ovation. It's great to see some of the kids I have worked with in the past be a part of that team.

Mini Silver Competition

2009-01-11T19:40:00.001-05:00

Writer's Block

2009-01-08T12:33:00.009-05:00

My college yearbook, the 1992 Jayhawker – pink cover with the title 'A Different Experience' houses my freshman photograph on page 238. Kelli Mustard. . . .Lansing. . .journalism. . . . freshman. (You know when I looked myself up I looked under Davis first?). It was optional to have your photograph taken and I would wager less than 10% of the students took part. But I had to appear in the book. . .because I was going to be writing stories for it. Because I was a writer.

It was my dream when I started college that I would complete my four years in journalism, graduate with honors and with camera and word processor in hand would get a job with National Geographic. I would someday find myself in jungles, photographing gorillas, monkeys and leopards. Then I would retreat to my campsite and write a moving and inspirational story about the animals’ lives and my observances. When I would return home I would pen a novel about my experiences – maybe a fictional account in which the woman falls in love with her guide – or maybe a memoir if I felt my own tale exciting enough to share.

So what happened? Why did that smiling, confident 18 year old journalism major turn away from that dream?

I think it started with the C. It was freshman English Literature. I wrote a paper on a novel I had read. It might have been Tess of the D’Ubervilles, Bleak House or The Scarlet Letter. I can’t remember what it was about, all I remember was it was a C. I didn’t get C’s on anything. Especially not what I was good at – writing! My high school English teachers had always told me how great my talent was. How easily writing came to me. They had boosted my confidence – I could do no wrong! And yet, here was a C?? How? I read the instructor’s remarks and found myself not understanding his point of view. I didn’t think he understood me or my voice. Or maybe I didn’t have any talent after all? Now I was pooled with such a larger, more advanced group of students and all of the sudden I went from above average to just plain ole average. The semester went on and somehow I ended up with an A in the class – mostly from my test scores, because I remember how much I struggled to write something that pleased this professor (graduate student to be exact).

Then there was the journalism class. It was intro to journalism. We were supposed to learn about the history of journalism - everything from Johannes Gutenberg’s first printing press to Marconi’s first transatlantic radio transmission. Easy enough, right? Only this professor was so enthusiastic about his trade that he wanted us to learn it all. Right now. He apparently was a journalism big shot. I was never sure what he had done, something great in broadcast journalism – but he wanted us to be as excited as he was about his profession. He held contests, games and gave prizes. He invited guest speakers and had us prepare questions for them as if it were a news conference. He had an end of semester, complicated contest for us to complete - kind of like a scavenger hunt/dungeons and dragons type event where we would finally end up with him as the prize (I don’t know, it was weird). I felt myself lost in this class. The other kids were so eager and enthusiastic. They clamored for his attention in class and many quickly became the teacher’s pets – his star pupils. I have to say I don’t think he even knew my name by the end of the semester. I got a B+ in the class. I wasn’t happy with it, especially since this was supposed to be my easy class and the only other B I got that semester was in Biology (and that WAS hard).

I mentioned that I wrote stories for the yearbook. Upon getting to campus the beginning of my freshman year, one of the first things I did was seek out the yearbook committee. I researched and found out how to become a part of that group. I had loved being the editor in chief of my high school yearbook. I enjoyed designing the layouts, taking the photographs and writing the stories as well as overseeing the rest of the staff. So it made sense for me to continue that in college. I was invited to meet one of the story editors and she asked to see some writing samples. When I found the yearbook office in the student union I was excited by all the computers and equipment. But the story editor ushered me out of the busy office and met with me on a row of couches away from the chaos. Little did I know I would never set foot in there again. The editor scrutinized my work quickly, shrugged her shoulders and gave me two assignments to write about with a deadline only a month away. The first – how do you meet people of the opposite sex? And the second, What is it like to live in the Jayhawker Towers surrounded by all the athletes? (which is where I lived). So my work began and I found myself having to approach strangers on the street to ask them questions, like “What is your favorite pick up line?” Or “What do you think of living across the hall from some of the best college basketball players in the country?” I found myself dreading the topics as well as approaching people about them. As I remember I threw together two stories that I wasn’t very happy with and I’m not sure the final version with my name in the by-line was really written much by me. I didn’t pursue writing any more stories for the yearbook after that.

One semester of college and several very startling revelations. I did not like to interview strangers, I did not like being told what to write about, I did not like having to compete against others for praise, I did not like deadlines (although I'm very good about meeting them) and I did not like criticism of my work (ok the last is a bit childish, but I was only 18, I crave feedback now - almost feel lost without it). Also, the final most startling revelation – maybe I’m not as good as I thought I was. Maybe this isn’t the right career path for me.

Then the voice of my ever logical father invaded my thinking, “In order to make any money as a writer you have to be really good at it.”

Of course I wanted to have a career where I made money. I wanted to be able to buy a house, car, nice things. I didn’t want the life of a struggling writer who is just waiting for my big break.

So, instead of meeting with an advisor to put me on a career path I was happy with, I pulled out my KU course book and started flipping through. What did I want to do with my life. Flip, flip, flip. I liked children. At one time I wanted to be a teacher. Flip, flip. The requirements to get into the school of education seemed easy enough, but half the people I knew were education majors. How much money could a teacher make? Did I really want to teach the same thing year in and year out? Wouldn’t I grow bored? (Another thing I had learned, I did not like monotony).

Flip, flip, flip. Hmmm. School of Allied Health. What was that all about? Physical Therapy? No – six more years of school. Occupational Therapy? Bells and whistles went off inside my head. I had been a candy striper in high school and the most coveted place to work was the pediatric OT clinic. I got to help children improve their fine motor skills by pinching colorful clothespins and improve their gross motor skills by leading them around in a wheelbarrow walk or pushing them on a big swing. That was fun. It was working with kids and it was different day in and day out. I studied the requirements and after some research realized it was an extremely competitive program. Several hundred people applied each year and they only accepted 35 (that may not be the exact number). You had to have an extremely good GPA – above a 3.5. Mine was 3.7 so far – I should be a shoe in. My confidence started to return. This was something I could do. After more research I found that OTs are in high demand everywhere in the country (job security!) and they are paid pretty well (more than a teacher or struggling writer!). This was it. This was the logical choice.

My next semester found me in classes to complete my requirements. Human Anatomy lecture and dissection (interesting stuff – I loved it!), intro to OT, then physiology, child development, psychology, ceramics (yes, it was still required to take an art class to get into OT school – therapeutic activities). To make a long story short, I did get accepted into the program and I was recruited heavily by employers. I was actually hired for a job during my first year of OT school. They paid for my school for me to agree to work for them in return upon graduation. What could be better?

I found that I was good at several things in school - writing papers, completing documentation and the research projects. Still, in a way I was a writer. In my student internships I could write up evals quickly and efficiently, drawing praise from my supervisors and then in my job, I would actually look forward to the time when the hands on portion of the evaluation was over and I could retreat to my desk to write it up.

Now, twelve years after graduating I have to admit the passion for therapy never surfaced. I don’t dislike being an OT, it’s a job that can be rewarding at times. I have worked with children over the years, but have to admit I enjoy the geriatric population just a little bit more. I can sit through a whole therapy session and just talk to some of my elderly patients about what it was like to live through the depression as a child; how they survived through the war while their husband was away and they were home raising six kids by themselves; or what it was like to run up the beach at Normandy (although I find they really would prefer to skip over reliving those details). So in a way I do interview people and I do consider writing what they’ve shared with me, although I never have.

I have become a closet writer. Writing is in my blood and I can’t escape it. I get these stories in my head and they don’t go away until they are written down. The first story was Mrs. Kitten Cake when I was six years old, followed by Triplet Trouble (my first novel) at the age of 10. Then several years of hard work completed Golden Rain, then Cape Bounty, Crossroads, Boy Crazy, Butterly Girl, When it Rains and most recently - In the Weeds. So I guess I have written seven novels in my adult life. Wow. I hadn’t counted before now.

Have I tried to become published?? Ha! Sure I have. But without formal training and instruction, without having short stories published in literary magazines (blah!!!) and without a list of awards under my belt, who is going to show an interest in me? With the book market the way it is – book publishers going out of business, turning long time authors away - there aren’t many agents looking to take on new, undiscovered talent. Sure I’ve had some interest. Some have asked to see completed manuscripts and some have even asked for rewrites and revisions before saying no.

Some might say I’m not willing to work hard enough for it. Sure I could publish myself (I have!) and market it myself to bookstores (this is now what you have to do even if a big publishing house picks you up), but I don’t want to. I’m not a salesperson or an editor. I can’t find all my mistakes myself and I’m not willing to fork over thousands of dollars for professional editing when I would never make that back by just selling a few copies to friends and family (half of which I just give away anyway). That takes the fun out of writing it. I love to write. I love to read what I’ve written and I’m willing to share it with whoever is interested. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. All that matters is that I do like it and that I am writing something that is important and dear to me. The first time I self-published, I had a hard time letting people read my work. I was nervous about their opinions. It was like they were reading my intimate thoughts. I’ve gotten over that somewhat and am ready to share more for those who want to read.

I wrote the final two books last summer, but haven’t self-published yet. They are a little different than other novels I have written, one is a little darker; one is more fun and lively with frank, intimate discussions among friends. After writing them I kind of stopped writing for awhile. I was dried up, out of ideas and out of inspiration. My dad was sick and thinking of him consumed my thoughts. I haven’t even blogged about anything – for a long time. (He is still very sick and now in hospice). I also received some advice from author Claire Cook that went something like this. "Wait. Wait until your children are grown and you have the time to really devote and focus on your writing and trying to market it to agents. It's is really a full time job."

Reading helps bring the inspiration back. But sometimes I get stuck in lifeless novels that once I finish I am depressed (they got published???). Then I’ll read something with so many twists and turns and controversial topics (if that’s what publishers want, I’m not doing it). Next I’ll read something amazing and think, “Wow, I could never write something that great.” Today I finished a novel by Elin Hilderbrand – The Love Season. It was definitely a “wow” moment and is what got my creative juices flowing again. She writes beautifully and makes me want to be better and try harder.

Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. We’ll see what the creativity brings me. But first, I will honestly work on finalizing my latest two novels for those of you who have been waiting patiently for them. After looking back over my life as a writer, I have realized that I can never escape it. Writing is as much a part of my as my curly hair. It's who I am and what I love to do as a hobby more than anything else. Even if I never get books into bookstore, I will always have them on my shelves for my children to read someday (for the most recent, they have to be at least 35!) So in a way I am living my dream (I never would have survived in the jungle anyway. I hate bugs and dirt!). I am a writer by my own terms. And I know my career as a writer is just getting started. Twelve more years till Kylie is in college. . .then maybe. . .we'll see!

Merry Christmas from the Davis Family

2008-12-08T13:08:00.017-05:00

Going Green

We have decided to go green this year and save on paper and ink for our Holiday Newsletter. If you still want a paper copy, you can download the printable version by clicking on the link on the side (Coming soon! Keep checking back!). Otherwise here is the blog version which has a little more detail since I'm not confined to less space!
Our Losses

We were saddened by the losses of two special family members this year. Tom's Grandmother Davis, Teresa passed away shortly after Christmas last year at the age of 95. Her funeral was touching and memorable. Here is a photo of the girls with their distant cousin, Ridley at the wake.

In October, Tom's Great-Aunt and Godmother Millicent Lynch passed away at the age of 86. She was a sweet lady who was still independent. This is a photo that Kylie took of her during the girls' last visit with her last spring.
Our Trips

We ended 2007 with a trip to New York City and then onto Carlisle, PA to visit Tom's brother Steve and his family. We had a blast in NYC visiting the American Girl Doll store for shopping and brunch, seeing the Rockettes' Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall and had many adventures aboard the subway.

We enjoyed Christmas at Steve's with many hours of playing Wii and much laid back, fun family time - sharing our traditions and learning new ones. Here's a family photo of the whole clan and then one of the cousins together.

In July we traveled to Vermont to visit friends and attend the Vermont Brew Fest. Along the way we enjoyed visiting Ben and Jerry's, the ECHO aquarium and Sherborne Farm.

August found me and the girls in Kansas for our annual trip. They love spending time with their cousin Alex. We visited the farm, the arboretum and hung out with him at his house and kiddie pool. My dad was thankfully feeling pretty well during this visit and was able to enjoy time with us.

I went back to Kansas on my own for 8 days at Thanksgiving time due to my dad's medical setbacks. This was a tough time for all of us.

Tom's Surprise

Yes, it's true, Tom is now 40! I (along with his parents' help) threw him a big surprise bash. But the biggest surprise was the fact that his buddies from college came into town (from Florida and Vermont) to celebrate with him. A good time was had by all.

He continues to try to keep up with his running as much as possible and volunteers at the races when his schedule allows. The business is still busy as usual and keeping steady. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it's not affected by the rough economy. He has created a new blog that looks spectacular! If you go to his blog at www.northernimagesstudio.com/blog/ you can click on Videos to see him in action. You'll see the whole family if you click on the BIO section.

Kelli's Corner

I continue to keep a busy schedule with working per diem as an OT and in Tom's office as much as I can around Kylie's half day kindergarten schedule. I also continue to be a Brownie leader and Sunday School teacher and this year started a small Daisy troop for Kylie. I stay active with my group of friends and continue to write when I have the time, but mostly enjoy reading, catching up with friends on facebook and blogging.

I had an increase in swallowing problems this year and went in for my esophagus to be stretched a few months ago. The doctor found 3 rings in my esophagus that were causing some of the issues and after a biopsy also found eosiniphilic esophagitis (an allergy in the esophagus). These two issues combined were really causing some problems. I am now on an inhaler to help keep the allergy at bay. It really seems to help.

Melanie's Corner

As always Melanie is enjoying school and all her activities. She is now in 3rd grade and her favorite subject is social studies. She is making good grades and continues to enjoy piano lessons, Brownies and has traded in gymnastics classes for a dance class. She will be in the same recital this year as Kylie. This year's show will be Alice In Wonderland. Melanie has two dances she will be a part of and has to do a cartwheel on stage. Eek!

Melanie also enjoys drama. She participated in a drama class in the spring in which she performed as the Big Bad Wolf. Over the summer, she had a blast in a two week drama camp and is lucky to have a teacher this year who happens to be the drama teacher for the upper grades. They do several Reader's Theater performances throughout the year and her teacher is was very proud of how much Melanie came out of her shell for the first performance.

The Chiari diagnosis that she received at the end of last year has been debated among several doctors. Basically she does have a herniation of her brain stem of about 3 mm. The technical definition of Chiari is 5 mm, so some doctors don't consider it an issue (it's a debated subject). Also, the MRI of her spine indicated tethered cord (which would require surgery if it was there), but on further review by doctors it is now another "grey" area. It has been frustrating getting one diagnosis by one doctor, only to have another doctor dispute it a few months later. But, nonetheless, she is doing great. She is being seen by a terrific GI doctor (locally, thank goodness) and is managing very well on her medication. She continues to have painful leg cramps once in awhile but with a little Tylenol, she is able to get past them. We are relieved surgery is not necessary, but we will continue to monitor her closely for other symptoms.

Kylie's Corner

Kylie is really enjoying kindergarten and has made several new friends. She seems so grown up, getting on that big bus every day. She was a little Tinkerbell in this year's recital and is looking forward to doing a tap routine this year. She enjoys being a Daisy Girl Scout and is getting ready to sell cookies for the first time!

She has also found a new activity she enjoys - cheerleading! She's so cute as the little flyer for her team and loves the social aspect of being with that group of girls. She continues to get speech therapy at school for articulation, but sometimes I wonder if she really needs it! She certainly has a lot to say! She is full of energy, spirit and zest as well as a stubborn streak a mile long (must get that from her dad!). Her teacher says she is extremely quiet and well behaved in school. . ..huh???

Jayhawk's Corner

Poor Jayhawk has never had a spot in our newsletter due to space restrictions. But this year I thought we should let him have a say too. He wants everyone to know that he is now 10 1/2 years old, is a little greyer and a little lumpier than he was last year. He took a 2 hour trip one day and we all got worried about him and even went out in our PJs to go look for him. When he came back he was wet and sore. . .could barely walk. . .and wasn't talking about where he had been. He still loves to swim, play fetch and go for hikes. Although now after any activity he has to take an arthritis pill if he wants to climb the stairs sometime that week.

Over the summer he went to doggie camp with Melanie and actually took 1st place in the dog show at the end of the week. We all thought that was hilarious since he is about the worst behaved dog there is. The instructors said it was because Melanie had to work a little harder to keep him in line and she did a great job.

Health in the family

My dad is currently struggling with his cancer diagnosis. If you remember from last year's newsletter, he was diagnosed with stage 4 bile duct cancer after gall bladder surgery in October of 2007. He underwent chemo from January to October of this year and was going along fine until his tumor markers and symptoms suddenly increased. At that time he had to go for surgery again to remove a bowel obstruction. After surgery he suffered from many complications including sepsis that was difficult to treat. He spent 21 days in the ICU and that is when I made the trip out there. Just last week he was discharged to a rehab facility where he is very anxious to go home, but continues to have some medical issues keeping him from getting the therapy he needs. He has yet to see the oncologist again to see if she will continue with the chemo once he has recovered. It's a long tough road, but he is a fighter! Keep him in your prayers!!!!

Mom has done well after her Chiari decompression surgery last year and hasn't had any further major complications.

Tom's father continues to do well in remission from his cancer, but struggles with his own swallowing problems from the radiation he received in his throat. He has had his throat stretched several times to be able to swallow anything more than soup. It was great to spend Easter with him when he was able to eat a real ham dinner for the first time in a long time.

Tom's step-dad, Dean underwent a knee replacement in November and he has recovered very well from it.

Hope this finds everyone healthy, happy and prosperous this Christmas season! Here's some photos from our fall photo session - compliments of Northern Images Photography!

Love, Kelli, Tom, Melanie, Kylie and Jayhawk!

Halloween, Plimouth Plantation and health updates

2008-11-08T09:39:00.012-05:00

The girls had a great time on Halloween collecting more candy than they could ever eat. (Seriously, I think I found old candy from last Halloween at the back of my cupboard - Ew). Melanie posed as a veterinarian (her future career choice), wearing scrubs made by Beach Grammy, my old OT lab coat and Janet's old stethoscope. Kylie was a little kitty with a broken paw Dr. Mel was taking care of. They came up with the idea completely on their own.

This week, I accompanied Melanie's 3rd grade on a field trip to the Mayflower II and Plimouth Plantation. It was a beautiful fall day and we all had a good time. We've been a couple of times before, so most of the information we had learned in the past, but it was good to have a refresher. Melanie enjoyed listening to the Wampanoag woman tell stories inside the long house the best out of the whole trip (picture of the woman below holding the tomahawk).

Sitting on one of the beds aboard the Mayflower. Looks like comfy sleeping for 67 days

Listening to one of the "sailors"

Captain Jones' quarters

The bow of the Mayflower II

Melanie and some friends inside a Wetu (Wampanoag summer home)

Above: All the girls inside a mishoon - a hollowed out canoe (had to ask Melanie how to spell it) Below: Watching a member of the Wampanoag nation making a mishoon

Hearing about real tomahawks

An overview of Plimouth Plantation from the fort. That is Plymouth Bay out beyond the village

The girls sitting on a cannon inside the fort

Melanie had a bout of walking pneumonia that has seemed to go away after a dose of antibiotics. She felt fine, slept fine, ate fine, normal energy level, but just had a nasty cough. She ended the antibiotics yesterday, but I heard her cough this morning. Hope it was just the dry air.

My dad has had a setback with his cancer fight. They found some nodules on the outside of his lungs and now has to have more intense chemo (although the area in his abdomen looked better). The good thing about this round of chemo is he can take it orally, so no more weekly trips to KC for awhile. But it has way more side effects than he had before and now feels awful. He has the chemo one week on, one week off and just finished the first week. I hope this week off he is able to regain some of his strength and energy and get out of the house a little. He has a follow up appointment with his oncologist this week.

Mom has been doing ok, but unfortunately has a weak, hoarse voice. She has been to her doctor and an ENT and has had repeat MRIs. One of the MRIs shows an increase in the syrinx size and she has a neurosurgeon appointment this week to follow up on that. I wonder if the syrinx could be causing the hoarseness (pressing on a nerve), but the ENT seemed to think it was just reflux and she needed to rest her voice.

That's it for now. It's been a busy fall and we finally have a day without birthday parties or other social events to go to for the first time in several weeks. Time to start Christmas/birthday shopping!

In Memory of Aunt Millicent

2008-10-28T14:22:00.004-04:00

Tom's Aunt and Godmother Rose Millicent Lynch passed away last Friday at her home in Marshfield at the age of 86. She was a great lady, so kind and considerate of others and still living on her own right up until her last few weeks of life. She will be greatly missed by all. Melanie's middle name is Rose and she will always remember Aunt Millicent as being whom she was named after. Millicent had six children, all who will be gathered together tonight and tomorrow for her memorial services in Marshfield. Here are some photos taken of her last visit with the girls this past spring when Janet was in town.

The Big Bash

2008-10-26T21:26:00.008-04:00

We couldn't let a opening weekend of High School Musical 3 go by without a big celebration. Our friends threw a dance party and invited just about all the girls they know. The kids had a blast running and dancing, playing "hot microphone" (hot potato with a blow up mike), backpack relay (relay race to fill up a backpack of school supplies, freeze dance and HSM trivia. After a fun filled afternoon we all headed to the movie - all 22 kids plus parents then were joined by several other friends at the theater.

The movie was great, but we need to see it again now that we know the story line, so we can just sit back and enjoy the singing and dancing. I especially liked the scene where Troy and Chad sing "Boys are Back," reminiscing about their childhoods and flashing back to when they liked to play superheroes and army men (now having to be grown up and make college choices). It reminded me of those high school days when we still liked to occasionally break out the Chutes and Ladders and dress the Barbies for the prom.

Here are some photos from the party and below are some videos of them dancing. Oh, and there's a pic in here of Kylie losing her top front tooth at church today when she "ran into" Melanie's hand with her mouth. It was quite the scene.

Did I mention that both girls had sleepovers last night? Melanie was functioning on about 5 hours of sleep, Kylie on 7. They went to bed early tonight!

Conga line

2008-10-26T21:25:00.001-04:00

HSM 3 Bash

2008-10-26T20:33:00.001-04:00

Melanie's Dance Day

2008-10-24T14:08:00.004-04:00

This Wednesday, Melanie had her observation day at dance class. This is her first year in a real organized dance class. She has been in gymnastics for several years on and off, tumbling, horseback riding and a hip hop session here and there, but had never expressed an interest in ballet or tap dancing until Kylie finally rubbed off on her. At Kylie's most recent recital, Melanie decided she too wanted to be up on that stage showing her stuff.

The class I enrolled her in is a combo class of ballet, tap, jazz and acrobatics. It is for 1 1/2 hours per week. Most of the girls in her class have been taking classes since they were 3 or 4 years old, so I thought she'd have some catching up to do.

I spent the first 20 minutes of class with tears in my eyes.

Ok, I know I'm a sap anyway. I cry when the Cherubs sing at church. But, here was a girl who has been in physical therapy on and off for years as well as the above mentioned classes (all to help her balance, strength and coordination) completing plies and jetes, holding her leg out straight while keeping her balance perfectly still and completing the ballet steps in almost perfect sequence. Sure she swayed here and there and had to put her foot down on occasion to catch herself, but most of the time she was just as steady as the rest of the girls. Ballet may prove to be the most beneficial therapy she's been in just due to the sheer fact she has to have such great balance and strength to pull off the correct steps (and we all know what a rule follower she is, so she tries her best to make it just right).

Then the tap portion of the class seemed fun for her and again she kept up just fine. Jazz showed that she needs to loosen up a bit, but again very good for her. The acrobatics portion was a just a repeat of all the gymnastics and tumbling classes she's had. She is getting stronger to be able to hold her body up during handstand and headstands, but still has difficulty with her trunk strength during a cartwheel (not to mention fear of kicking those legs up high). She also had a little fear about walking backwards on the pretend tightrope (ha! just the fact that she did it is progress!).

I got a little video of her during the jazz portion, mostly becasue I was too enthralled with the rest to remember to record. It's in the next post.

Speaking of Cherubs, here they are singing last week. Kylie's on the far left in the pink dress. So cute.

jazz

2008-10-24T14:05:00.001-04:00

Tap Dancing

2008-10-17T07:00:00.001-04:00

Dancing Fun

2008-10-14T07:28:00.001-04:00

Happy Fall!

2008-10-13T13:01:00.011-04:00

Yikes! It's been awhile since I've updated my blog. . .guess we've been busy.

Our fall routine has been going well. Kylie has settled into Kindergarten and has yet to be sent to the Take A Break chair (is it possible to channel some of that good behavior at home???). She is excited about all the new friends she has made. On her second or third day of school she ran off the bus and said, "I made a friend today and she sucks her thumb too!!" She is finally showing a real interest in letters and numbers and forming words. Melanie was doing this when she was 3, so I have been patiently waiting for Kylie and now it's happening - right when it should!

Melanie seems to really like 3rd grade. She has already shown great improvements in her reading and math skills. She's already read 7 books on her own at home just since school started. That's without me making her! Her favorite subject is social studies. She is definitely a history buff (her first grade teacher picked up on that before I realized it). They just finished their unit on Sandwich history (not the peanut butter and jelly kind, Sandwich is the name of the town we live in). I learned right along with her that Sandwich became a town in 1639 formed by the 10 men of Saugus and that Thorton W. Burgess wrote 150 books and 15,000 stories! Wow!

Melanie is enjoying her first experience with a formal dance class. She has taken years of gymnastics and a hip hop class here and there, so this is something new for her. She is in a combo class that teaches jazz, tap, ballet and acrobatics. Kylie's class this year (her 4th year of dance!) is also a combo of all of the above except acro. They have their observations days coming up so I can see how they are doing and get it on video. Luckily their dance classes happen on the same night but are staggered a bit so I end up sitting in the lobby of the studio for 2 1/2 hours.

Kylie is in cheerleading again and Melanie is in Brownies. We have a Brownie blog this year which is cool. Melanie was in charge of the first story. Check it out at : http://www.btroop782.blogspot.com/ I am doing a Daisy troop for Kylie as well - keeping it small to 5 girls. We had our first meeting the other day. Here is Kylie is her Daisy smock and reciting her Girl Scout promise.

This past weekend, Tom's Aunt Jo Ann and Uncle Don came for a visit. They were in Maine on vacation and were able to spend some time with us before flying home to Florida. We were able to enjoy two nice meals out and a few drinks at home during Friday night's Red Sox game. We took them to a farm Saturday morning to go pumpkin picking which was a lot of fun. Here are some pics from the day:

That's 41 pounds of pumpkin!

Popcorn on a hayride. . .what could be better?

We had an impromptu Red Sox party Saturday night with a few friends. Too bad they didn't win! The kids had a blast running around with their friends and the grown ups enjoyed a few beers/wine and lots of snacks. I think I gained 5 pounds just Saturday. Uggh.

Today we have a day off of work and school (I have been working 2 days a week at Tom's office and 2 days as an OT around Kylie's kindergarten schedule). We enjoyed the morning in our PJs watching a movie and now the girls are dressed as fairies and planning for the next big adventure.

Health wise - Melanie has had more doctors appointments and is doing well on her meds. We got a second opinion of a neurosurgeon in Boston who agreed that her spinal cord hangs low and it is hard to really tell what is happening in there, but if it was his daughter he wouldn't do surgery. She's doing so well, that I don't see the point either and wouldn't dream of pushing for it. My dad has had a slight setback. Some of his blood work came back elevated and he has to have a CT scan sooner than expected to see what's happening. That's scheduled in a couple of weeks. I like to think they are just being overly cautious. . .keep him in your prayers!

Tom is having some video done of him in action for his website. Check them out at:

Cape Cod Wedding life

Oh, I have to share a website that I've been following and think is pretty cool. The Barnstable High School Drama Club put on the show Wizard of Oz last spring and it was a really good peformance. The WB network did a bunch of behind the scenes footage about the show -everything from the auditions to the actual performance. The episodes (or webisodes as they are called) are being shown on the WB website. In the beginning of the second episode, they show the BHS panoramic photo that Tom took. Cool. Two new shows go up every Monday. I'm hooked already (mostly because I'm such a WOO fan). You can check them out at:

http://www.thewb.com/shows/high-drama/

Ooooh. Episodes 3 and 4 just went up. Gotta go!

First day of Kindergarten

2008-09-09T11:49:00.005-04:00

Kylie started Kindergarten today. She was so brave as the big yellow bus pulled up, yelling, "Come on Nani!" (what she calls Melanie). She was smiling from ear to ear when she got on. I met the bus at school and took a few more pictures and she was a little more subdued (after 25 minutes on the hot bus) and seemed a little nervous. But she gave me a small wave and smile and followed her fourth grade guide into the building.

Getting off the bus at school

Sean, the fourth grade guide gathers his students
Walking in with the other kids

I am watching two other little girls on Tuesdays and here they are after an afternoon of playing hard. . .worn out kindergarteners!

Forever Summer

2008-08-30T13:57:00.007-04:00

Wish it could be. . .Forever Summer. . .wish it could be. . .forever summer!

Melanie attended a two week drama camp this summer at her school. At the end of the two weeks they put on an entire musical production entitled Forever Summer with 7 songs and dance routines they had learned. Each child of the 20 3rd-5th graders had a speaking part as well. I recorded the whole show, but at 28 minutes, it's too long for YouTube and I haven't figured out how to compress it. So below you will see the final song and curtain call of the show. Melanie is in a pink skirt and jacket and starts out in the middle.

The play was the perfect theme to our summer. I also wish it could be forever summer. In the play the teacher on the first day back at school is asking her students what they did over the summer. Melanie's lines for the play sum it up pretty well:

If it's proof you're after, let's flash back to the past

To a one room school house and a sad sack class

It was the first day back to school you see

And school was the last place they wanted to be.

The answers for the teacher were everything from going to a baseball game (Take Me Out to the Ballgame musical number), to going to the beach (By the Sea, By the Sea), attending a 4th of July parade (When the Saints Go Marching In), going fishing (Crawdad Hole) and visiting New York (The Streets of New York). Very classic ways to spend a summer vacation.

It got me to thinking. . .what would Melanie say if her teacher on her first day back on Tuesday asks her those same things. What did she and Kylie do this summer?
1. Trip to Vermont
2. Trip to Kansas
3. Learned to play classic games like Pick up Sticks, Marbles, Dominoes, the Game of Life, String Games (Cat's Cradle, Cup and Saucer, Eiffel Tower, Jacob's Ladder - just Cat's Cradle for Kylie)
4. Read 6 Magic Tree House books (Melanie)
5. Had a ton of sleepovers, playdates and beach days!
6. Took swimming lessons, drama camp, jump roping, Vacation Bible School and doggie camp (Princess Ballerina camp for Kylie)
7. Finished summer workbooks
8. Dressed as a firecracker for the 4th of July
9. Survived a wild and crazy 4th of July cookout at our house
10. Said goodbye to a very good friend

And what did I do this summer?
1. Numbers, 1,2,3,9 and 10 above count for me too!
2. Got my throat stretched and started on a myriad of medications
3. Got reacquainted with an old friend
4. Added several new words to my vocabulary - tomtom GPS, iPhone, Pandora, Shazam
5. Started Facebook and have acquired 49 friends
6. Read too many books to count. . .probably 2 or 3 a week
7. Taught Vacation Bible School
8. Huey Lewis concert and a few other fun nights out with friends
9. Finished writing another novel
10. Watched the 2008 Olympic Games

All in all a very good, complete and busy summer. I will be sad to see it come to an end. But I think we feel fulfilled and are ready to dive back into our school year routine. Melanie starts 3rd grade on Tuesday, Kylie has one more week and starts kindergarten officially on Sept 9th.

Wish it could be. . .Forever Summer. . .wish it could be. . .forever summer!

Drama Camp

2008-08-30T13:49:00.001-04:00

The Land of "Ahs"

2008-08-19T19:14:00.004-04:00

It's always good to go home again. Melanie, Kylie and I just got back from our annual trip to my hometown of Lansing, Kansas. We had a wonderful time visiting with family and friends and it was bittersweet to come back to the Cape to vacuuming, laundry, groceries, back to school planning, etc, etc, etc. . .

The first thing Melanie and Kylie said when we got to Kansas last Tuesday, was, "when can we see Alex?" Alex is my brother's little boy, their 4 year old cousin. So, Wednesday we trekked to Overland Park (suburb of KC) and spent the day at Alex's house. They swam, played games and just generally had a great time.

Melanie, Alex and Abigail
That night I had a wonderful eye exam with my buddy, Kim who fixed me up good as new with some miracle eye drops for my allergies and new contacts. I felt like a new person. After my new eyes were in place, we went out with some of her friends for some food and a movie (Pineapple Express).

Thursday was spent touring Leavenworth (Leavenworth and Lansing are kind of like Sandwich and Forestdale - sort of). First up was the Parker Carousel, a refurbishment of a real old fashioned carousel that used to be manufactured in Leavenworth. (In fact if you have been in Heritage Museums and Gardens in Sandwich, you will see a print of a Parker Carousel from Leavenworth on the wall outside of the carousel nearest the art history room). Next, we went to a museum that I always loved as a kid, the Carroll Mansion. It has wonderful Victorian era memorabilia and shows how the rich and elite used to live back in the days of new electric lamps and indoor plumbing.

Riding the rabbits at the Parker Carousel

The "heroic" big black dog outside the Carroll Mansion

Abraham Lincoln once stood on these steps to give a speech

Friday was spent at the Overland Park Arboretum, (free!) near Alex's house. The landscape is absolutely gorgeous and was in full bloom. We took tons of pictures.

An interesting frog sculpture

Lemonade anyone?

Aunt Freddie, the kids and MomThe Medicine Wheel hut

From there we took Alex home to Lansing with us for a sleepover with his cousins. They played non-stop and had a great time.

We took him back to O.P. the next day to meet up with his parents and for a trip to the can't miss Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead. Deanna Rose is a place we have gone every single time we have been back to Kansas. I WISH there was somewhere just remotely comparable to it here in Massachusetts. It's an amazing (and FREE) place to take the kids. Tons of animals that depict Kansas' regional flare including buffalo (the state animal), prairie dogs, bobcats, bald eagles, pigs, horses, goats, cows, fish, etc, etc, etc. . .All this is combined with beautiful gardens typical to Kansas and walking trails. You can rent a fishing pole to fish in the pond (you catch about a dozen fish, but throw them all back), take a hayride, ride ponies, feed the goats from a milk bottle, milk a cow, be a student in a one room school house, tour a wigwam and tee pees, mine for gold, tour a chicken coop, ride little tractors and play on an extensive playground and run through a watering hole!

Everyone was worn out after the farm and fell asleep super early Saturday night. Sunday we were up for Sunday School and church in the church I grew up in. It was great to sit in Sunday School and hear my dad share his vast experiences and knowledge and see all the familiar faces. Then I headed to my friend, Michele's house for our annual Fab 5 reunion with Michele, Darcee and Amy (missed you Tanya!). We had a great time reminiscing about OT school and looking at pictures from our younger days! It's great to see we haven't aged at all!!!

Me, Darcee, Amy and Michele (minus Tanya!)The Fab 5 kids

Next up was visiting with my friend Karen and her two little girls Morgan and Kendall. I've known Karen since we were 4 years old. Ever since that day she asked me to play at the little chalkboard desks in preschool. Melanie and Kylie had a blast with her two little girls, but it was short lived and no one wanted to part ways at the end of the night.

Kylie, Melanie and Morgan

Kendall and Karen

Monday was spent letting the girls play, play, play. Mom kept all my old toys including Strawberry Shortcakes (the old version), Little People (when they used to be wooden), Barbies, dolls, board games and card games. That night we threw together and impromptu party for everyone to come say goodbye to us. My grandmother, Aunt Freddie, my brother and his family, Karen and her kids and Kim and her boyfriend Rich all came. It was a great going away!

Puzzle time with Great Grandma

The Party!

Kim and Rich

It was good to see how my dad is holding up with his chemo treatments too. He does get very tired and has to stay out of the sun, but all in all he kept up with our crazy schedule pretty well. Thanks for everything!

The Fonz

2008-08-15T22:49:00.001-04:00

Here's some nastalgia for you. I showed this to the girls so they would know who Fonzie was and they thought it was really weird!! It was hard to explain the whole Mork thing.

iPhones, tomtoms and the Fonz

2008-08-02T09:53:00.005-04:00

This past weekend I celebrated my birthday. . . Janet and Dean (along with Tom) were very gracious with a gift of a tomtom GPS system so I could navigate my way more easily when I have to go to Boston and unfamiliar places. Thanks!

Also, Tom was in the need of a new cell phone and has been eyeing the new iPhone since it came out a couple of weeks ago. We were planning a trip to Braintree anyway, where there just happens to be an Apple store, so we checked them out and before we knew it, we left with two iPhones (I had to get a new phone too if we were switching services). Here is a picture of the girls in matching dresses (thanks to Janet too!) and matching iPhones. What a rough life!

The iPhone is great. It has an iPod, calendar (syncs with my calendar on my computer), email, text, internet, youtube, weather reports, etc. Now if it could just do my grocery shopping we'll be all set. We had fun playing with them this week. It is a little cumbersome to make a call - you have to push about 3 buttons no matter what to call someone when we were used to just hitting one number on speed dial. I'm sure they will make improvements to it as time goes on. You can download new applications once they become available.

This has been a crazy, busy week. I've worked more this week to cover a vacation, Melanie has had drama camp everyday, both girls have swim lessons three days a week - Melanie's is at 1:00 and Kylie at 3:00, so we are forced to stay at the beach for 2 1/2 hours those 3 days : ). Melanie finished up with her jump roping class on Tuesday, so that's one less thing to do.

Since it was so busy and next week is equally busy, I was ready to shower and get in PJs after yesterday's swim lesson, but friends of ours were going to see Henry Winkler at a book signing in town and I decided to go. Who could pass up seeing the Fonz? I was glad I went. He has co-authored 15 children's books about Hank Zipzer, a boy with dyslexia who struggles academically. It is based on Henry Winkler's own childhood where he suffered from undiagnosed dyslexia. He gave a speech to the audience before the book signing that was funny and engaging. He really pointed out to us as parents that we should not berate a child for not being able to learn the same way or pace as we think they should. Also he stated that how you learn does not have anything to do with how brilliant you are. The girls enjoyed it as well. The signing itself took a long time because of the crowd. We weren't able to chat with him. He just signed quickly and we got a quick pic.

Vermont!

2008-07-22T12:29:00.014-04:00

While Ken and Kim were here, we decided to take a trip to Burlington, Vermont to visit friends (Katie and Dave) and do some sightseeing. Well, ok. . .so it just happened to coincide with the Vermont Brewers Festival, but that was accidental! No planning involved! Well, maybe just a little planning on the guys' part.

But Kim and I stood our ground and made sure that if beer was going to be drunk in large quantities by the guys, we had rights too! So, just outside of Burlington, Vermont is Waterbury - Home of Ben and Jerry's! Guess where we stopped on our way there?

So, what's good at Ben and Jerry's? Well, Kim and I sampled a new flavor in honor of Elton John's first ever Vermont concert - Goodbye to Yellow Brickle Road (yum!), Tom had Coconut Seven Layer (he was in coconut heaven, but it melted really fast!), Melanie had Sweet Cream and Cookies, Kylie enjoyed a Strawberry Cheesecake milkshake and Ken had (ready for this??) Vanilla! It was fun taking the factory tour and seeing how the ice cream is made and visiting the flavor Graveyard where all the retired flavors are gone and buried, but the best part was the actual ice cream eating!

Next stop, Burlington and our hotel. I have to say it was the best hotel stay we have ever had because our room opened right up to the pool. At first they put us in a non -pool room, but because of some rowdy beer guzzling neighbors and the fact that our reservation said "pool side" I asked to be switched. I'm so glad I did because the girls had a blast and half the time had the pool to themselves. While having fun, they also worked on their swim skills. Kylie put her head ALL the way under for the first, second and third times and Melanie learned to be more confident with taking breaths while swimming without stopping to put her feet down and jumping into the deep end.

The view from our room

Our personal poolside porch

Dave and Katie did a great job finding us a babysitter so we could all enjoy the beer fest. Her name was Brianna and she is working on being a lifeguard - so perfect. She brought her suit and swam with the girls, got them ready for bed, turned on a movie and they were both asleep by 9:00. Amazing! And she cleaned our room - straightened our shoes, organized the movies and untangled the portable DVD player cords that I have been ignoring for months! I wonder if she travels to babysit????

I didn't take my camera to the beer fest, but here is how it works - you paid one flat fee and got a souvenier glass and 10 drink tickets. Then you go stand in line after line after line. You get one drink and get in the next line and drink it while you wait. By the time you get up to the front your last drink is gone. I tried many different kinds of brews, none of which I really remember the names of. Spuyten Devyl comes to mind (sour apple flavor), Pomegranate Ale was another one. Tom took a ton of pics, so you'll have to wait until his blog update for those. I left my camera behind. Luckily the drink glasses were small enough that 10 drinks really only felt like 2.

Sunday we went to breakfast with everyone; Ken, Kim, Dave, Katie and their two kids - Grace and JD. Here are some breakfast pics:

We said goodbye to our friends and then went on to do our own family activities. First up: The Vermont Teddy Bear Factory. It was a fun, informative trip into how they make teddy bears and of course after the factory tour, we were let out into the gift shop where the girls were very eager to be able to take home their own genuine Vermont Teddy Bears. But at $49 each, we were strong and led them to the smaller $10 Bear-O-Gram versions of the Vermont Teddy Bears and left with a few dollars.

After the Teddy Bear factory, it started raining, so we took a break and headed back to the hotel for some pool time and naptime (Tom). Once we were refreshed we walked through the rain to the ECHO Aquarium and Science Center that sits right on Lake Champlain. We had fun digging for Beluga Whale bones, learning about the formation of Lake Champlain and the surrounding mountains, seeing a variety of marine animals, making a weather report, learning about Champ, the Lake's mythical creature similar to the Loch Ness Monster and making a music video (may appear on Tom's blog).

Then it was off to dinner at the Vermont Pub and Brewery. Unfortunately this was our least favorite dining experience of the weekend. Melanie was freezing cold after being in the rain and then the air conditioner, so she shivered throughout the meal and our sweet potato fries were cold. Oh well, it can't all be great. Another swim Sunday night, then to bed for us. It was a long day!

Monday we woke up early, had ANOTHER swim and then packed up to leave. Before we left Burlington we enjoyed breakfast at a cute little diner and then browsed up and down Church Street.

I had to take a picture of the table and chairs at the diner because I think we had this same set when I was a kid - maybe in a different color, right Mom?

Church Street

The Red Sqare - a place us grown ups went after the Beer Fest

After leaving Burlington we headed to Shelburne Farms. What had been a pretty nice day turned into another rain shower, but not to be deterred, we went to the farm anyway and toured the facilities. It would have been better had it not been raining because there are miles and miles of walking trails around the farm's beautiful landscape. The kids enjoyed the indoor stuff, though too. They got to pet some cows, goats, sheep and chickens, play in the farm kids' area and witness cheese making.

All in all, it was a pretty low budget (for as much as we did) and educational trip. The kids learned how to make ice cream, teddy bears and cheese (and almost Magic Hat beer, but we ran out of time for that tour).

The Fair is the thing. . .

2008-07-22T12:12:00.005-04:00

We visit the Barnstable County Fair every year. This year we had friends from out of town join us for the day. Ken and Kim came up from Florida and usually their trip coincides with the 4th of July, but this year, they came later and were able to experience the fair. Ken's been there before, but this was a first for Kim.

Enjoying fair food

Nascar here we come!

The view from the Ferris Wheel

Kylie brave with Daddy on the Super Slide

Another view from the Ferris Wheel! (Yikes!)

Always a fair favorite - holding the baby chicks

Calling All Heroes

2008-07-22T10:43:00.005-04:00

Last week was our church's annual Vacation Bible School. I have helped teach VBS for the last 5 years and this year was co-in charge of Bible stories and snack for 30 first through fourth graders. There were over 20 preschoolers and kindergarteners, so the oldest kindergarteners got moved up to the first grade class - Kylie included. So I had both my girls in my class, but at different times.

This year was the Veggie Tale theme - The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. These unassuming, not real piraty pirates were called on to be heroes, so the week was based on bible stories every day about unassuming heroes. The kids rotated through four different stations each day - science, games, bible story/snack and crafts. The bible story was enforced and reiterated through each of these fun activities and all you have to do is name a day and my girls could name you the bible hero, the snack and the pirate craft they made.

Monday - Moses and the burning bush
Tuesday - Gideon fights the Medianites
Wednesday - Shadrack, Meshack and Abendego and the fiery furnace
Thursday - Peter walking on water
Friday - Paul and the shipwreck
(I could remember them all off the top of my head too!)

It was a lot of work and supplies to get - the teachers had to wear costumes each day and have elaborate props as well as involved snacks, but it really was worth it to see how the kids got into the stories and enjoyed them. It was the first year that kids actually listed the Bible Stories as one of their favorite stops in the day!

The girls in their pirate gear - Booty bag (day 1), pirate bandanas (day 2), treasure chests (day 3), treasure maps (day 4) and message in a bottle (day 5)

And the underlying theme of the week was that even we can be heroes - in the way we treat people and being honest and fair. Good messages we should all remember!

Some brief updates

2008-07-15T19:28:00.006-04:00

We have been busy of course, but I wanted to update everyone on a few little items. I did have my throat stretched last week and to sum up in a few words - He said he found 3 rings on top of each other that he stretched. I have done well recuperating and I ate steak tips tonight. Enough said.

Melanie had her long awaited GI appointment on Friday (it got moved up from August) Bad news - she's not going to have a normal functioning system for at least 3 years by doctor's estimatation. AND if it is the spinal cord causing the problems she may never have normal function unless we have it fixed surgically, but she was hopeful that it has nothing to do with the spinal cord. Good news - we can get her on a good schedule with a little bit of effort and meds.

Goodbye (for now!) to Good Friends

2008-07-15T19:16:00.004-04:00

Friends of ours are moving to Ohio this week for the Coast Guard. Gracie has been in the same classes as Melanie ever since Kindergarten and has been in our Browine troop for the past 2 years. They've had many a playdate and really get along well. Her mother, Marti and I have become good friends as well, serving as Brownie leaders together. They will be very missed! BUT the good news is that they will be back in two years.

Another friend hosted a very fun going away party for their family over the weekend. I forgot my camera (AGAIN!), but here are some pics of Gracie at the end of school family picnic dancing with the girls.

The girls like to send emails to each other already, so I hope they can stay in touch. Everyone will miss them! Have a safe trip guys and keep us posted what's up in your lives (you'll know what's up in ours!).

Happy 4th!

2008-07-06T15:36:00.007-04:00

What a great couple of days we had as a family. We did our traditional 4th of July activities starting with Tom running in the annual road race, followed by marching in the town parade, then having a picnic lunch with our friends, participating in some of the field events, then heading to the best part of the day for the kids - FOAM!

My friend, Wendy had the creative idea to have her daughter dress up as a firecracker for the parade and made costumes for Melanie and Kylie too. They sure got a lot of attention and comments. Cute!

Since Jayhawk was such a great dog all week at school, we included him for the first time in the festivities. We figured, now that he's old he should be calm enough to handle it. He started out reeeeealllly wild and energetic and several times I almost turned around and took him home, but once he got acclimated to all the people and had some exhausting running with Tom, he settled down.

We lost Kylie for a few minutes in the foam and people, but she was very brave and found a firefighter to stay with her until I found her. What a good girl!

My girls are in red - that's Sydney in blue

The first school bus in Sandwich

Whew! What a tiring day!

Ready for the egg toss

Running for foam!

Where are my kids?????!!!!????

Jayhawk gets into the fun.

There they are!

Nighttime arrives. Time for some Dale and the Duds, dancing and boat parade

No 4th of July would be complete without our annual cookout. Too bad I couldn't remember where my camera was for the party to get any pictures, but let's just say even without pics it will be a night to remember for a LONG time. Right girls?

You CAN teach an old dog new tricks

2008-07-06T15:14:00.004-04:00

This week, Melanie went to a camp for girls and their dogs through 4-H. There, they learned about dog grooming, dog careers, dog first aid, dog obedience and training. They made scrapbook pages, t-shirts, dog treats and dog treat jars. One day they showed the girls how to give baths at the do-it-yourself dog wash in town. Jayhawk was thrilled to be included in doggie camp. It was a long week for me as I had to stay with Jayhawk during the camp to keep him out of trouble while Melanie did the crafts.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Jayhawk, he is our 10 year old puppy. He has a ton of energy and rambunctiousness. He's the dog who barely made it out of puppy school because of his fiesty behavior. So, what a surprise when on the final day when they did their dog show, Melanie and Jayhawk took FIRST PLACE! They even beat out another black lab who is being trained to be a show dog. Wow! The teachers said it was because Melanie was clear and firm with her commands (and I think because she had to work a little harder, knowing his personality). Anyway, she was thrilled after I explained to her that first place is the BEST, not the worst (which is what she thought at first). She also thought because when they announced the first place winner, I couldn't stop laughing that it must be because he was the worst dog there. I said, no, I was laughing because I couldn't believe it.

Jayhawk's least favorite day - Bath Day!

Jayhawk's friend, Buddy likes his bath and sits nice and still!

Training in progress - look at that nice heel

And he can sit!

Receiving their first place award

Summer Blowout

2008-06-25T13:58:00.004-04:00

The girls and I attended an author's book signing today at Titcomb's Bookshop of one of my favorite authors, Claire Cook. Claire is the author of Must Love Dogs and Life's A Beach. She is promoting her new book Summer Blowout which is about a hair stylist - so what better way to promote the book than to offer free hairstyles at the book signing! Melanie and Kylie both got their hair styled in fancy french braids - totally unexpected and fun surprise for them!

Claire was wonderfully gracious, signing all three of her books for me and giving me some great writing advice. I have seen her speak at the Cape Cod Writers' Conference and was moved by her work ethic and engaging personality. Truly a nice person. Thanks Claire!

And hey, all my blog book club readers - buy her book! And if you haven't read Must Love Dogs or Life's A Beach, read those too! They are funny and entertaining! Great for the summer. Then after you've read Must Love Dogs, go rent the movie with John Cusack and Diane Lane. Then tell all your friends to read them too!

Oh, and check out Claire's blog and Titcomb's website. Maybe my girls will end up on both!

Onto Lighter Fare

2008-06-24T20:51:00.003-04:00

Two other books I've read recently:

Practically Perfect by Katie Fforde: Very cute story, easy light read about a girl who lives in England and is redecorating an old cottage and adopts a greyhound at the same time. She meets the dog inspector who also happens to be the housing inspector and they don't exactly hit it off at first. One that was a little silly, but fun for a beach read or an escape.

Fearless Fourteen by Janet Evanovich : Yes I've read her 13 previous books and they all make me laugh. Stephanie Plum gets into trouble again and Ms. Evanovich somehow finds a way to make the story original and fun. This time Grandma Mazur gets wrapped up in a dungeon and dragons type computer game with some younger kids all while the whole burg is trying to find out if $9 million is hidden in Joe's basement and the kids try to keep the curious crowds away with potato guns. Funny stuff. Oh and Lula thinks she's marrying Tank. You can read this one without reading the other ones, but why? Start with number one and work your way up. It won't take you long once you get started.

That's it for now. I'll update more later!

The Last Lecture

2008-06-24T16:03:00.007-04:00

I have been reading again! I LOVE books. I usually read in the evenings after the girls go to bed - especially since Tom is working late on the beach now and NOTHING is on TV.

I have to do a special entry about my latest book I just finished. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. If you haven't heard of him yet, you may have been living under a rock recently.

He's a 47 year old computer science professor from Carnegie Mellon who was given the grave diagnosis of pancreatic cancer with 3-6 months left of good health last September. He was asked to give one final lecture to his college students which became well publicized beforehand leading to an audience of 400. In the audience was a journalist who documented the lecture. It was then spread around the Internet and many people took notice including Oprah. Suddenly he became famous for his speech about realizing your childhood dreams.

But this was not a lecture about learning about dying then going out and living out all your dreams. This was a lecture about living your dreams every single day whether you are dying or not. One thing he said that struck me was that on your death bed you do not think about the things you did not do well, you think about all the things you wanted to do but never did. He talks about finding your passion and living it as he did. He accomplished almost all of his childhood dreams before he ever became sick and he spreads the word on how to do it.

Many of his quotes came from inspirational people in his life. Every time someone gave him advice about something throughout his life he listened and remembered it. Starting with his tough football coach in elementary school all the way through colleagues at the university, everyone he met helped shape who he became.

Some points from the book that stick with me more than others:

"Manage time like money" - I've always thought this was important. I learned this one from Tom. He is big on the time management/budget issue. What Randy says about it - don't waste your time on the insignificant stuff - it doesn't matter if you polish the underside of the banister (does that count for vacuuming under the furniture?? Cause if so, I'm all set.)

"You can always change your plan but only if you have one - Make To Do Lists" - Ok, I don't do this one. Tom does. Tom insists on lists. Lists for what to accomplish in a day, lists for what to accomplish this year, lists for what to buy. I don't take the time to make the lists (see above about time like money), but I do catalog the lists in my head. I know what I need to accomplish. I would probably do better at accomplishing the tasks if I did write them down. What Randy says about it - it's good to break tasks up one step at a time.

"Brick walls are there to show us how badly we want something" - My personal take - I know what I want badly and I know what the insurmountable odds are of achieving, it. Seems like a really TALL brick wall, but I will persevere!

"When you're screwing up and no one is telling you anymore, that means they have given up on you."

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted."- Wow. How true. I have a lot of experience!

"The best shortcut is the long way, which is basically two words: Work Hard"

"When we are connected to others we become better people."

"Don't try to compensate your lack of parenting with material things - they can actually do harm in instilling a child's values." (So I don't need to buy the Wii? Whew!)

Those are just a few of the values that struck me. There are many more in the book as well as many heartfelt moments and tears to be shed. He is leaving behind a wife and 3 young children. Everyone needs to either read his book or visit his website - http://www.thelastlecture.com/index.htmand watch the lecture. I promise you that you will get something out of it.

Periodic Cicada Brood XIV - Our Science Report

2008-06-24T15:44:00.004-04:00

Thanks to the sleepover at my friend Wendy's house where the cicadas are very plentiful right now, the girls have developed a strong interest in learning more about them. When we got home from Wendy's we took a walk with our butterfly nets and caught a few cicadas and brought them back to the house where they drew pictures of them and wrote information down about them. We looked up cicadas on a couple of web sites and learned the following useful things:

Our cicadas are 17 year cicadas. This particular species and brood (the group that emerged together) is only found in the northeast. They were underground developing and eating tree root sap for the last 17 years before digging holes 4 weeks ago (or so) and emerging. Soon after emerging, they shed their previous skin and left it behind and changed to a dark color. Now they fly around everywhere. The males make the sing-song sound with their wings to attract females. They eat twigs and bark. They will lay more eggs soon which after hatching, will go underground and emerge again in 17 years. The adults will die by the end of the summer. There can be as many as 1.5 million cicadas in 1 acre of land (I believe it at Wendy's house!) Here is the most useful website that talks about our particular brood around us right now:

http://www.magicicada.org/magicicada.php

Watch the video below to see one up close and hear it's song.

Melanie thinks they might be blind or nearly blind because they fly straight at us and whack themselves against things, then land on the ground on their backs and flail around. I can't find any info about their eyesight. So if anyone who is reading this knows the answer to this question, let me know.

Also, I have seen many cicada heads, disconnected from the body, that seem to be still alive. Melanie's friend, Sydney says that if you pull on a back leg the head falls off (as a defense mechanism). I think they would die at this point?? Anyway, another tidbit I can't find any information on.

Summer of Cicada

2008-06-24T15:43:00.001-04:00

Yesterday's Doctor Visit

2008-06-24T12:51:00.002-04:00

I had to travel up to Boston yesterday to visit with my new gastroenterologist for my swallowing issues. It was a long drive, a long wait in the waiting room and a long drive home just for him to listen to my 5 minute speel and recommend an endoscopy and dilation/biopsy of my esophagus. So that is scheduled for July 9 back in Boston at 7:15 in the morning. Tom will be taking me since sedation is involved. Now we just need someone to take the girls for us.

The doctor has a few theories about what is going on in my esophagus. One is my original diagnosis of a Schatzki's Ring (click on it if you want to know more). I didn't even know I had that as a diagnosis until I got my old records just last week from my previous GI doc (way to communicate!). Apparently that was the diagnosis they came up with in 2003 prior to my first dilation (I was told they really didn't find anything that would cause my problems). This doctor yesterday said that it is highly unusual for someone my age to have a Schatzki's Ring and that he would look for other possible causes when he does the endoscopy and biopsy. At the same time he will dilate which means I will have some pain for a couple of weeks after the procedure. He also said absolutely no applesauce or water when something gets stuck as I could obstruct my airway (that's happened actually). He would rather see me in the ER getting food pushed down than to choke to death (me too!)

My friend Wendy was nice enough to watch the girls yesterday and even kept them overnight (Thank you Wendy!). So when I got home from Boston, I met Tom out for a drink and then we went to a movie. There wasn't much playing, so we decided on The Love Guru with Mike Meyers. I have to admit it was pretty funny. Similar to Austin Powers, but not as over the top. If you want a good laugh, I would recommend it.

The Three Little Pigs

2008-06-23T07:28:00.003-04:00

Melanie had her drama performance as the Big Bad Wolf yesterday at Arts Alive in Falmouth. They all did a great job! Her friend Lillyan is one of the pigs (the smart one who wants to build the brick house). This is a fun interpretation of the story. Unfortunately, my memory card only holds so much information so it stopped after the first house was knocked down. I can tell you the second house made of sticks was similar to the straw house. Then they made the brick house and the wolf could not blow it over so the pigs made fun of him and made him cry. He said "stupid allergies." So they gave him some of their mom's allergy medicine (Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, Oh What a Relief It IS!") Then the wolf announces from now on he's a vegetarian and are all happy and dance around the stage together.

The Three Little Pigs

2008-06-23T07:26:00.001-04:00

Diary of a Thumb Days 4 and 5

2008-06-22T11:34:00.002-04:00

Kylie has backslid considerably. I think she has officially "given up." Everytime I remind her to take her thumb out of her mouth she says, "I don't want a Webkinz!" The blankie has been out of her bed numerous times as well.

The icky stuff definitely doesn't work for her. One night she sucked the other thumb, then in the morning scrubbed her left thumb with toothpaste again to get the taste off. She's too sneaky and strong willed for me to keep track of. My plan is to continue with the enforcement of keeping the blankie in her bed even during story and movie times. Then during the stories, I will continue to stop reading if she's sucking and try to keep her hands busy by holding the book or turning the pages. During movies it will be trickier, but I could turn the movie off until she takes her thumb out or have her color or draw while watching. (she doesn't multi-task well though). I can't stop her at nighttime, but I can try to show her that she doesn't need her thumb to relax. The rest of the day, she's pretty good as long as she's busy.

Melanie hasn't bit her nails once since I put on the stuff. Way to go Mel!

I gave up coffee the same day the girls gave up their bad habits. I switched to an herbal green tea and have felt great since. I haven't been tired at all (except 10:00 at night) and I've been sleeping better and later everyday. I also haven't had my typical morning nausea that comes and goes.

Diary of a thumb Day 3

2008-06-19T17:57:00.002-04:00

So far so good for day 3! Kylie made it all the way in the car to and from Boston with no sucking and only one episode of whining "I wanna suck my thumb." Even when she got upset when we got home from Boston - she trying to carry 3 armloads full of stuff out of the car, dropped it everywhere and fell down, started crying so hard she started coughing, threw up all over herself after coughing, then ran to her room - this is when she will typically grab her blankie stick her thumb in her mouth and veg out until she calms down. But, I followed her upstairs and instead of the typical comfort fest, she was changing her own clothes from throwing up on them and was no longer upset.

BUT, then she did end up with her blankie when the TV came on and I found her thumb in her mouth, but she didn't cry or complain when I told her she had to leave it in her bed. We'll see how bedtime goes tonight. Stay posted!

Kansas Boys Do Good!

2008-06-19T17:15:00.007-04:00

Scot Pollard and Paul Pierce in their Jayhawk days

Since we were in Boston today for Melanie's appointment and the appointment got out right at 11:00 just as the Celtics Championship parade was starting AND there just happened to be an empty cab in front of Children's Hospital, we decided to hop in and head over to Copley Plaza to see if we could catch sight of a couple of the ole' hometown boys.

There was a ton of people! Ton of excited and crazy people. But the girls have experience NYC at Christmas time and Disney along with a million other people, the Celtics parade wouldn't be much different. We bought them shirts right away, took some pictures and they found a spot to watch. I was more interested in possibly catching sight of one of my best friends from college, but unfortunately, if she was there I didn't see her.

I went to KU alongside Scot Pollard who plays for the Celtics. He was apparently injured during most of the playoffs, but I did see his name on the roster AND I saw him on the duck boats (briefly). Scot married a very good friend of mine (at one time) Mindy. She and I were close our freshman and part of our sophomore years, but saw much less of each other once she started dating Scot and eventually lost touch. She is still in touch with my old roommate and pal, Kristi, so I hear about how she is doing now and again. They have three kids - Lolli, Tallulah and Ozzie, so I was thinking maybe they'd be there too since some of the players had their kids with them.

Mindy and me dressed to go out in 1992. . .I think those are her clothes.

I barely got to see Paul Pierce, but I did see the MVP trophy. Paul is also a KU alum, although he was there after I graduated from 1996-1998, just after I moved away from Kansas, so I never got to see him play.

The Lephrechaun

The Trophy

Scot's back (sitting down)

After the parade we followed the mob of people out of Copley and began the long walk back to the car (no cabs to be found this time!). Along the way we stopped for lunch to refuel. The girls were great - barely any complaining and I didn't have to carry Kylie once. It was a beautiful day too - perfect temperatures! Great first day of summer vacation!

Maybe some answers? Finally?

2008-06-19T16:46:00.002-04:00

Melanie had her follow up appointment at the neurologist today to go over all the consultations and test results we have had since the last time we've seen her. I haven't blogged much about it all because it is all so complicated and "grey" that it's hard to explain what is really going on, but I think today we finally may have gotten answers that make sense and can be simplified to explain.

Melanie's spinal cord is "tight." There isn't a lot of room for her cord to move around and it might have some connections to the vertebrae, but it is too difficult to be certain based on the MRI. However, even if it is attached, she is not really a surgical candidate at this time. Her bowel and bladder symptoms are still an issue and we have an appointment with a gastroenterologist in August to hopefully get some relief in that area. The neurologist would like to have her receive a follow up MRI in a year from the last one (so in about 9 more months) to see if it still looks like it is in the same position.

Also she reviewed her symptomotolgy for the static congenital encephalopathy diagnosis (mild CP) and feels even though her ankle cords are tight with limited dorsiflexion, she seems to not be as symptomatic as she used to be and may be growing out of the original issues she was having. She does feel she has mild incoordination along with the ankle limitations and mild balance issues. Add to that her fear/confidence levels surrounding certain movement activities such as riding a bike and walking down hills and it results in heightened anxiety. I had the doctor explain to Melanie that there are no significant physical reasons why she cannot ride a bike or why she would be more susceptible to falling so that she would maybe start to believe she can do those things without getting hurt. If she starts to believe in herself, she should be able to accomplish those tasks (with extra work of course - she has always had to work harder on all physical activities).

So there you have it. I think we are satisfied with the answers and ready to move on. We'll check back in 9 months!

Last day of 2nd grade

2008-06-18T20:31:00.005-04:00

Today was a bit bittersweet for me. As much as I'm looking forward to summer vacation, it's sad to think that Melanie's second grade year is over already. I loved second grade. I think it was my favorite year in school. . .and it just seemed to fly by for Melanie.

She had a few party invitations and we ended up first at her friend and neighbor, Lillyan's house. They had pizza and snacks (as you can see below, Kylie surrounded herself with chips) before swimming in the pool, then games in the front yard. Everyone had a blast. . .I think Lillyan's parents had just as much fun running and tackling as the rest of the kids.

We left there and headed to Melanie's friend, Sydney's house. Sydney lives on a pond and the kids all had fun jumping off the dock and swimming off the little beach. Then they spent about an hour just playing on the hammock and then it was time for the hot tub! I didn't think I was going to get them out. They looked WAY too comfortable.

Home for a quick bite to eat, change clothes and then a trip to the library to sign up for the summer reading program. They both made pledges to read 30 minutes a day 5 days a week for 8 weeks! That's a big commitment! I should have had Kylie sign a summer no thumb sucking pledge!

Melanie has a great teacher assignment for the 3rd grade, but she found out that NONE of her close friends have the same teacher. She has a few casual friends in the class, so it will give her a chance to get to know those girls better. She's bummed though! She was hoping for at least one of her best friends to be with her!

Diary of a thumb - Day 2

2008-06-18T09:33:00.002-04:00

Melanie is doing well with the no biting of her nails. She said this morning, "My nails look longer, mommy!" I don't know about that, but I do know that she is really trying not to bite

Then there is Kylie. . .a little more resistant. The taste of the stuff isn't bothering her anymore and she was happily sucking her thumb in front of the TV this morning while I was in the shower. On a good note, her blankie was tucked securely in her bed. I reapplied the nail polish after my shower and she said, "If I can't suck my thumb, I can't live!"

We had a busy day, so the thumb issue wasn't revisited until we were on the way home from the library around 7:00. She had been a chatterbox all day and was suddenly quiet in the backseat. I adjusted my rearview mirror at a stoplight and sure enough - the plug was in the mouth. I said "Kylie. . ." and she said, "I HAVE to!"

While we were reading stories later, she would plop her thumb in her mouth and then tug on my sleeve, smiling. I would stop reading until she took her thumb out and then I would continue. From about 7:30 until 8:30 I think I heard the phrase, "I want to suck my thumb." about 150 times. I put some more stuff on her thumb at bedtime and she said, "I don't care, I like the taste."

Melanie on the other had is doing great. . .no biting all day.

Ick!

2008-06-17T19:11:00.002-04:00

Melanie says to me this morning, "Mommy, I want to stop biting my nails."
That was music to my ears!

So Kylie and I headed to CVS and while there she decided she too would try to give up sucking her thumb at the same time Melanie is trying to give up biting her nails. All for the sake of a Webkinz as a prize if they are successful. I bought the nasty tasting "Bite It" which smells like regular ole fingernail polish but must taste much worse.

So how did day one go? Well, Kylie cried about 10 times and scrubbed her thumb with toothpaste to get the taste off - which I think worked because after that the grimace went away when the thumb went in the mouth. She also put her blankie away with Melanie's old blankie, kissed it goodbye, but after her biggest meltdown regarding the thumb, the blankie had mysteriously resurfaced. It will be a long road. But one positive note, after dinner I caught her trying to put her thumb in her mouth and she giggled and ran to me and said, "everytime I want to suck my thumb, I'll hug you instead." It was a great hug.

Melanie tends to bite her nails when I'm not around or I don't notice, but I sure noticed everytime today. Major theatrics and drama occured with spitting and screaming. At first I couldn't figure out what was the matter, then I realized she had tasted the stuff. Having sensitive taste buds may serve her well in this case.

I'll keep you posted how the week goes. Hopefully the nasty tasting stuff will serve as a reminder and they will both slowly stop sticking their fingers in their mouths out of habit.

Say Goodbye to Preschool

2008-06-12T17:56:00.004-04:00

I can't believe today was Kylie's last day of preschool. Now she moves onto kindergarten in the fall. Tears were shed as she sang her songs and received her preschool diploma. She's getting so big!! Here are some photos from the day:

Kylie with her friend, Cora

Miss Madeline, the Speech Pathologist who has been working with Kylie for 2 1/2 years!

Kylie receives her diploma:

Beach Grammy and Grampy

2008-06-11T20:00:00.017-04:00

Today marks the end of the annual four week visit of Tom's mother, Janet and step-father, Dean. (AKA Beach Grammy and Grampy). They come from Cocoa Beach, Florida this time every year and stay at Scusset Beach in their RV. Unfortunately, this is a crazy busy time of year for us, so their visit is more work than pleasure. Dean helps us around the house with mowing, mulching, repairs and maintenance and Janet cleans, sews and takes care of the girls for us.

The girls have a blast and the four weeks flies by every year. Here are some photos Janet took of their trip:

BUBBLE TIME!!!!

Who's Afraid of the BIG bad wolf?

Check out those personalized shirts!

Tom's Party

Part Time Pop Stars!

Visiting with Aunt Millicent and cousin Maureen

Camp Wind in the Pines

2008-06-08T13:32:00.018-04:00

Three other Brownie leaders and I took 11 of the members of our Brownie troop camping this weekend. The girls had an amazing time with each other and didn't want to leave. One girl said she wished she lived there and her parents could drive her to school from there every day.

We started out the day with some team building activites. First the girls had to put themselves in order by birthdate without speaking. Then they had to lift each other through a rope "web" by using teamwork and planning. Next they had to find a way to balance on a big board all at once, and finally had to put themselves in order of correct height in a small balance beam (without falling off!). It was fun to see them working together.

We also got to learn all about campfire safety and the girls got to actually light their very first match after specific instructions.

We enjoyed lunch in one of the centers (couldn't find anywhere else to eat and we couldn't check into our campsite until 5:00!). The girls were famished and gobbled down lunchmeat sandwiches, apples and cookies.

Next we headed to the beach for swimming and games. Somehow Melanie got chosen to be the "shark" that had to tag all the rest of the girls as they swam across. She had a great time.

The favorite activity of the day for the girls was the paddleboats. They rode 4, 5 or 6 per boat and the lifeguards chased them around in kayaks, splashing them with their oars. The girls didn't care if they couldn't steer or get away, they loved every minute of it. The male lifeguard said, "stop screaming so much, you're hurting my ears," and the girls responded, "stop splashing us and we'll stop screaming!" He didn't stop splashing them.

After boating we had a few free minutes before craft time. The girls found a useful way to utilze those precious moments with some sunbathing! Strange, we were the only troop I saw doing this! After soakin up a few rays it was off to the craft barn where they decorated hats and made God's eyes. Then it was off to the nature center for a scavenger hunt and exploration of the camp's eco systems.
Finally we were able to check into our campsite where we got our fire started for dinner and unpacked our cars. Dinner was calzones or as the girls called them "pizza boats." We scraped out the inside of a french bread loaf (with a buttered bottom) and filled it with pizza sauce and cheese (and toppings) then wrapped them in aluminum foil and set them on the fire. They gobbled them up! Then of course they had to wash their own dishes.

We had a special treat for them after dinner. One of our leaders, Amy made yearbooks for each of the girls with the special activities we had done throughout the year. It had an autograph page at the back, so the girls had fun signing each other's books.

Then it was back to the main campfire circle where we had campfire songs with all the other troops and roasted marshmallows for smores. (That was my favorite activity!).

The girls were exhausted after our campfire and we got them into PJs and teeth brushed then into their tents for bed. Unfortunately, one of the girls came down with a sudden stomach bug just at lights out time (10:00) and we had to call her parents. I was all set to drive her home and move my other girls into another tent, but then I found out her mom was in the area (coming home from IKEA!) and was able to stop by and pick her up. We were sorry to have her leave, but the stomach thing is going around and we didn't want her to have to be sick all night withour her mom. We hear she's doing just fine this morning.

In the morning we had another campfire for our coffee and cereal for breakfast for the girls, followed by CLEAN UP and a brief stop at the souvenier store. Our final friendship circle was sweet and sad! We will miss this group of girls!

To see the rest of the photos from this weekend follow this link: Shutterfly

Kylie had fun this weekend as well. . .camping out in the RV with Beach Grammy. She lost her first tooth Friday night! Can you believe it??? She had fun at her soccer game yesterday and then to a pool party for one of her friends.

Author's Hour

2008-06-04T16:34:00.003-04:00

Melanie's 2nd grade class had their Author's Hour today. They each read stories they had written about what they did over April vacation. Here's a pic of Melanie and some of her friends and below is the video of her story.

Author's Hour

2008-06-04T16:33:00.001-04:00

Oh, the Macarana

2008-06-02T06:23:00.009-04:00

Friday night was Melanie's school's Family Picnic. The girls had a ton of fun dancing and playing tug of war against the boys. It's fun to see our kids doing the dances we used to do - The Macarana, the Cotton Eyed Joe, Electric Slide, Charlie Brown - but I don't remember doing them in the 2nd grade. All I remember is square dancing in gym class. Ugh.

Here's some shots of Kylie warming up for soccer on Saturday. She has made so much progress in soccer this year. She actually kicked the ball in a game for the first time. In all I think she kicked it about 5 times.

And here is a shot from our night out. Sex and the City was a great movie and that's coming from someone who was never a fan. We didn't get HBO when it was on and popular and I tried to watch reruns, but was never able to remember when it was on. But it doesn't matter if you watched the series, because the characters are all explained in the beginning. So any women between the ages of 30 and 50 should definitely see it!

A Bit of History and a Bit of Fun

2008-06-01T08:38:00.011-04:00

Time for another blog book club update. I've had friends asking me what they should read next, so here are the latest books I've read. I've gone a bit historical lately but I've also read some easy going lighter fare.

Sally Gunning's The Widow's War:

This was a book loaned to me by my friend Amy, by local author Sally Gunning. It's historical fiction set in the 1700's about a Cape Cod woman who loses her fisherman husband at sea. The home they had lived in for years suddenly is not hers any longer as it is given to the oldest male heir which turns out to be her son-in-law (not a nice man). Shocking to believe that if those laws were still in effect today that women would lose their homes when their husbands pass away and they would be subjected to living off distant relatives until they could remarry. Very well written and engaging. I hope to read more of her books in the future.

Mayflower by Nathaniel Philbrick:
This is a book that I have wanted to read for a long time. I have always been interested in the Pilgrim's crossing and after visiting Plimouth Plantation and the Mayflower II on a few occasions and explaining the Pilgrim's plight to Melanie, I have been interested in reading a true account of the happenings. Nathaniel Philbrick does not write as a novel, it's an actual historical account of events. I was entranced the first half of the book as he explained the crossing, looking for a good place to settle, setting up the village and the meetings with the natives. Where I started to grow bored was the last half of the book during the wars with the natives and I had a hard time following all the intricacies. But it was well worth the beginning - I loved seeing the familiar names of the pilgrims and learning about the people behind all the historical places around here (Myles Standish State Forest, Billington Sea, Carver Inn, etc, etc, etc).

The Circle of Three by Patricia Gaffney

I now think I've read all of Patricia Gaffney's books. I read this one awhile back, just after my last blog book club entry and now I'm having a hard time remembering it! It's about a woman whose husband dies in a car accident and she has horrible guilty feelings for it because they had been fighting and prior to his death she was realizing that she wasn't in love with him anymore. She goes through a horrible depression and has a teenage daughter who is struggling both with her father's death and her mother's despair. The mom then starts to have feelings for an old high school flame who her parents never approved of. He helps her to start pulling out of the depression. Now that I'm remembering it, I did like it and would recommend it, but it's still not as great as The Saving Graces.

The Light of the Moon by Luanne Rice:
I read everything by Luanne Rice. She just writes beautifully. It has a similar feel to most of her books. This novel takes place in France and is about a man and his daughter who are struggling to forget the woman who left them to join the gypsy circus in Las Vegas (now I have to admit that IS a different concept!). A woman from Connecticut comes to their ranch in France to meet the famous white horses they raise, but she is also visiting thier small village for another reason - to meet the statue of the saint that was responsible for her conception (her mother prayed to the saint for a baby when they were visiting the town). After her mother's dying wish of her daughter to visit Sarah (the saint), she had to go right away. She meets the rancher and daughter and falls in love with both of them immediately, but their relationship is doomed because of an ancient gypsy curse set upon their family. It is deep and spiritual with a strong underlying religious theme which Luanne Rice puts into most of her books.

The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory:

This book was recommended to me by my nanny and friend, Amy Young. It's another historical fiction novel. This one is about King Henry VIII. I refrained from researching him before I read the novel as I wanted to be surprised by the events. The Other Boleyn Girl refers to the sister of Anne Boleyn (one of Henry's wives) and her possible relationship with the King before Anne married him. It was made into a movie starring Natalie Portman, Scarlet Johanson and Eric Bana. The DVD comes out in June and I'm looking forward to seeing it. About 3/4 of the way through the novel I couldn't take the suspense any longer and I ended up looking up all the main characters in wikipedia to find out the true story. Very intriguing and interesting. Makes me want to read more books that take place in this era.

The Sweet Potato Queens 1st Big-A** Novel by Jill Conner Browne:
This book was recommended by my friend Karen who is an English teacher and avid reader in Kansas. She said it was laugh out loud funny reading and she was right. It's a fun, easy read about a group of women who were outcasts in middle school and high school, but fought back against the system by forming their own elite group (to offset the snobby Key Club) called the Sweet Potato Queens. It takes place in the South and has a LOT of southern humor. It's the story of their lives through adulthood and the trouble and scrapes they get themselves in - always coming out on top with the help of their friends. I read a couple of the funny quotes to Tom who couldn't stop laughing (too off color to reprint here!).

On that note of great friendships I would like to say today is the day of a true outing with my friends. We are going to see Sex and the City (in our heels of course) followed by a cocktail at a trendy establishment and dinner at another fun place. We may not be the Sweet Potato Queens, but we can have just as much fun. I'll take a camera!

By the way, if you've read this far, make sure you send me an email or leave a comment to tell me what you've read lately. Last time I gathered all my email responses together, visiting the library website and reserved all the books you suggested, so keep 'em coming!

The Grooviest Troop in Town

2008-05-26T15:37:00.010-04:00

A few weeks ago, our Brownie troop earned their Art To Wear badge by learning to tie dye and painting kerchiefs to wear in our annual parade. Here are some pics from the fun day:

Happy Birthday Tom!

2008-05-25T21:13:00.011-04:00

Whew! We pulled it off somehow! I managed to plan two big surprises for Tom's 40th birthday.

First, his college buddies, Ken, Jay and David came in from out of town to surprise him for the weekend. We met up with them for lunch and Tom was genuinely really surprised. His parents, the girls and I left him there to hang out and have a few brews while we went home and got set up for the next surprise - a big party! He showed up to a backyard full of guests. Again, he was totally blown away.

Now that's a BIG remote! Thanks Maryjo and Greg! Now surely he can't lose that!

Cool Red Sox jacket from Frank and Helen and a Marcia Duggan original cutting board. Great gifts!

52 hamburgers, 17 hot dogs and most of a keg of beer were consumed. Now that's a party! Today we celebrated again (his actual birthday) with lobster and the rest of the keg. Can anyone say time for bed (and a diet)?
The morning after with the out of towners - Jay, Katie, Dave and Ken
Our lobster feast!
Watch the video below for the surprise at the house. At the end Kylie (with her mouth full of food)was asking me if we can tell him the truth now. It was really hard for her to keep the secret. She didn't like lying to Daddy!!!!

Happy Birthday Honey! Love you!

Surprise!

2008-05-25T21:05:00.001-04:00

Second Star to the Right

2008-05-12T07:03:00.005-04:00

Another busy weekend for us! Tom got a last minute phone call from Martha's Vineyard High School this week saying they needed a prom photographer. So amongst all his other events for the weekend, he now had a prom. . .on an island that in order to get to, he would have to take his Jeep on a boat and stay overnight. And he invited me along.

So Saturday morning after Kylie's ballet recital practice and all Tom's sports events (which ended up getting all canceled anyway because of rain!), and we dropped the girls off with my very gracious, friend Amy, we hopped on a ferry to Martha's Vineyard. We had just enough time to find our hotel, change clothes and get to the prom site. We had a wonderful meal right on the water in Menemsha at the Beach Plum Inn before the prom couples arrived.

The next morning, we had a quick breakfast and hopped back on the ferry. The girls were at church when we got back, Amy dropped them at the house and we quick fed them lunch and dressed for the recital.

Below is the video for the recital (shhhh!). It starts out with Kylie in the back row - a little bit difficult to see. She is the shortest, so easy to spot. Then they move and she's in front and you should be able to tell who she is. This is a class of mostly kindergarteners, so they are all a year older than Kylie (we had to choose it for scheduling reasons). The recital was Peter Pan and they always do such a great job. I wish I could have recorded some of the play itself, but my memory card only holds so much. Kylie's group are the little Tinkerbells who performed when Tink was sad/mad the Peter Pan wanted to bring Wendy back to Neverland with them. The second video is their curtain call at the end of the show.

Second Star to the Right

2008-05-12T07:02:00.003-04:00

The Curtain Call

2008-05-12T07:02:00.001-04:00

The Final Cheer

2008-05-04T06:16:00.005-04:00

Kylie had her last cheerleading performance of the season yesterday. This wasn't competition, but Xtreme Cheer's Grand Finale for the families and friends of the cheerleaders with a banquet following. Tom was there taking team, individual and action shots. I'll post it when the images go live from it. He said he and his photographer Eric shot over 1000 that they have to go through and edit.

It was a busy day for all. Tom had three sports leagues yesterday morning all going on at the same time, one of which was Kylie's soccer league. She played in the cold drizzle and we were all freezing. It's hard to believe two weeks ago we were out there, hot and melting in the sun.

At the same time as soccer, Melanie was at drama. Soccer got moved from afternoons to mornings this year, so now we are trying to coordinate being in two places at once every Saturday. Luckily our neighbor is in the drama class with her and can at least get them there. The play they are putting on this time is The Three Little Pigs - but a silly version. The wolf (played by Melanie!) isn't too scary. Poor thing has bad allergies and has a hard time huffing and puffing to blow down their stuff. Her performance for this play is June 14. She has a ton of lines to memorize, but seems to already know most of them.

After the cheerleading performance tonight, Xtreme Cheer hosted a potluck banquet. It was fun to eat and talk with some of the other cheer parents and let the girls socialize with their friends. Melanie has several friends who cheer and even though she doesn't do it herself, she has made some new cheerleading friends from just being there twice each week for Kylie's practices. Tom wasn't able to stay for the banquet, because he still wasn't done working for the day. He had to go to the Opening Day parade for the town's Little League to photograph some parade shots and hand out envelopes to the coaches. It was at night this year because yesterday was also first communion day which around here takes at least half of the second grade kids out of all activities. Everything seems to happen on one day!

Below is Kylie's performance video. It's the last time she will perform with this team. Next year several of the girls are moving into the next age level. Of the seven girls, three will still be on Mini Silver with Kylie. Kylie will miss the older girls as she had really bonded with them. I have to say, cheerleading has been such a great activity for her to boost her confidence and make new friends. The practices start up again in the Fall and the competitions will be next Winter. I am closer for this video than the others, but I think Kylie's concentration was a little poorer this time. She was tired and hungry (it was 5:30 before they performed), so I'm not sure she was at her tip top performance level. Lately she has been really overtired everynight and has low energy... hopefully just a growth spurt or something. After church we will have a quiet day today to catch up on our rest.