Friday, May 4, 2007

Starting my Blog

So, here I've finally found time to sit down and start writing my on-line journal. . .Kylie is playing happily in the other room -building with Lincoln Logs (quite well I must say for a 4 year old). All of the sudden the sound of CNN comes through the walls. Weird. . .I go into the bedroom and the dog is intently watching a bombing in Iraq with the remote squarely between his front paws. I guess he needed to catch up on the news.

So, I'm back at the computer, Kylie is now done building and rolling around my feet, sucking her thumb and saying "I need help cleaning up." Now I know why it is so hard to get a chance to start this project.

Anyway. . .I don't know who will care to read this (ah the phone - another interruption - my husband needing me to bring some supplies to the office). But I have had an desire to start recording my thoughts and life events in some kind of diary. I promise not to get too personal!

We just bought a new house about a month ago. Maybe when the flowers and trees start budding I'll get out and take a pic (spring comes late in the Northeast). I love our new home. The girls have plenty of room to play and spread out, there's tons of storage space for real organization and there's no more raunchy carpeting everywhere that the dog can ruin with one drool. The neighborhood seems nice and cheerful.

(Kylie cleaned up the Lincoln Logs without any help! Amazing!)

The main reason for my new blog is I've decided to get back into writing. Ever since I was 5 years old I have considered myself a writer (Mrs. Kitten Cake was the first story. . .I still have it!) I have written a couple of complete novels and even tried to get one published several years ago. I actually had some interest from a literay agent in representing me. She asked me to make a couple of changes and send it in to her. Unfortunately the timing wasn't good. I was pregnant with Kylie at the time and ended up on bedrest and preterm labor shortly after. I finally got the changes to her maybe 6 months later and I doubt she remembered me or our conversation. I doubt she even laid eyes on it herself. That was the last time I looked at or thought about my novel. My confidence was low and my schedule was BUSY!

(After providing a snack of Cheez-It's, "pink" milk and My Little Ponies video, Kylie is now very quiet)

So, why now? I am still busy as ever. I work in Tom's office and May and June are the busy season. He's out straight for the next two months shooting little leagues, proms, graduations, portraits, preschools, weddings. . . It's getting close to the end of the school year for the girls so that means field trips, recitals, sports, parties, etc are all going on for them. I still have a ton of work to do on the new house and yard, so my free time should be spent there. But you can't predict when inspiration comes and when it does you need to go with it. I have found that unless creatively motivated I am unable to write very well. Right now writing is constantly on my mind. It's what I'm thinking about while I'm in the shower, vacuuming, dusting, making meals, driving, playing with my girls, etc. I feel guilty about it because little Kylie (who talks to me non-stop) will yank on me and say "Mommy wake up!!!" when she knows I'm not fully listening. That's why I need to get it down on paper, so I can more fully focus on other activities.

I think part of the motivation maybe comes from Tom's dad (Roger). He was recently diagnosed with cancer (which they think is stage 4). While undergoing tests, they also found an aortic aneurysm. Now he's faced with a tough decision. Wait on cancer treatment to have the aneurysm surgically removed or go ahead with the chemo and radiation with treatment of the aneurysm after in hopes that it doesn't burst in the meantime? It's an impossibly tough decision for him.

Roger is the only person among our family and friends who repeatedly asks me if I've been writing lately. I always laugh, wondering when he thinks I have time to write. It was him I was thinking about the other night as I tried to fall asleep, worrying for him, his wife and my husband and what will happen the next few months. When I woke up the next morning I had memories of a dream in which I was in an accident. As I lay awake remembering the dream, I thought of one thing. . .what have I wanted to do my whole life but have never really followed through and pursued it? Publish a novel.

Tom just ran the Boston Marathon for the first time. That was a life-long dream of his and he realized it after 38 years. My dream is to be a writer. Not just a writer for myself, but a writer for others to enjoy.

I probably can't give it 100%. . .I know I can't, but I will do my best to fulfill this dream and hey, at least I gave it a shot.

Yes, my first blog entry is long (sorry Tom)- but hey I LIKE to write!

(My Little Pony is over already! Time to get out the real Little Ponies)

All for now!


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